In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness. In many cases, this disorder is the direct result of childhood trauma, abuse, violence, or neglect.
When people with BPD feel jealous, they can react in a number of ways. Some people lash out at their loved one. Others give the cold shoulder or freeze out their loved one. Some turn the pain they feel inward and may struggle with self-harm or suicidal thoughts.
Do BPDs purposely invoke jealousy? Some people with BPD can indeed invoke jealousy. It's a rather nasty and spiteful maneuver and serves only to create a reaction from you if you allow it.
Delusional disorder-jealous type diagnoses occur at an estimated prevalence of less than 1% of the world population [8]. It is important to note that clinical cases of jealousy do not always include delusions [4,9–11]. Various subtypes of jealous reactions may occur.
Learn About Borderline Personality Disorder
These individuals often report feeling that emotions control their lives or even that they feel things more intensely than other people. In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive.
Research has identified many root causes of extreme jealousy, including low self-esteem, high neuroticism, and feeling possessive of others, particularly romantic partners. Fear of abandonment is also a key motivator.
When people with BPD feel jealous, they can react in a number of ways. Some people lash out at their loved one. Others give the cold shoulder or freeze out their loved one. Some turn the pain they feel inward and may struggle with self-harm or suicidal thoughts.
People with BPD are often on edge. They have high distress and anger levels, so they may be easily offended.
What others perceive as a simple mistake to be brushed off, people with BPD might perceive as a serious wrongdoing. You might hold onto a grudge for days, or until the person has apologized sufficiently.
Rage in an individual with BPD can occur suddenly and unpredictably. BPD anger triggers can include an intense fear of being alone. Two other BPD anger triggers include a fear of rejection and quickly changing views.
People with BPD may experience rage when they perceive rejection, neglect, or abandonment in a relationship. During rage, a person may say or do things that they later regret. This could lead to ending the relationship in the heat of the moment. BPD rage is often followed by significant regret and shame.
People with BPD may not have a consistent self-image or sense of self. This may worsen obsessive tendencies, since they may find it difficult to see themselves as real or worthy individually, separate from their relationships.
According to HealthyPlace, selfishness in the case of BPD arises from unmet needs: People with a borderline personality often report being neglected or abused as children. Consequently, they feel empty, angry, and deserving of nurturing.
Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem. People who take their power from being a victim, or seek excitement in others because their own life is not where they want it to be.
Persons with BPD do not choose manipulation. It mostly happens to them. The way they experience their own emotions in a given situation involving significant others pushes them to resort to manipulative activities.
Passionate and emotional – When a person with BPD loves, the love is deep, highly committed and loyal to the relationship. Even though there may be struggles with attachment and fears of abandonment, these are ultimately manifestations of love.
People with borderline personality disorder may experience intense mood swings and feel uncertainty about how they see themselves. Their feelings for others can change quickly, and swing from extreme closeness to extreme dislike. These changing feelings can lead to unstable relationships and emotional pain.
There may well be some individuals with BPD who are genuinely manipulative or sadistic, especially those who are very strong narcissistic traits. BPDs have very complex needs, as well as very complex maladaptive coping strategies — and manipulation is one of them.
Delusions of infidelity may be the initial presentation of schizophrenia, or appear as new features within an established psychosis. Delusional jealousy is a subtype of delusional disorder as described by DSM–IV (American Psychiatric Association, 1994) and ICD–10 (World Health Organization, 1992).
Morbid jealousy, often referred to as pathological jealousy or Othello syndrome, is a condition which occurs when a person feels an irrational fear of their partner being unfaithful towards them. It is a worrisome state, as Shakespeare can vouch for it, for his Othello ends up strangling Desdemona.
Sometimes feeling a twinge of jealousy is a sign there's something you need to work on in a relationship or some aspect of that relationship isn't going how you want it to be going. But, unchecked, consuming jealousy can be toxic and destroy relationships.