BPD Triggers Loneliness and Isolation It may spring from your fear of being rejected or abandoned. This fear can make you feel lonely, even when you have a partner or loving family.
If you live with this condition, you might crave close connections with others — but you might also find it challenging to interact with them. You might then withdraw, or you might come on too strong and push others away unintentionally. This can leave you feeling alone and unworthy of others' attention.
Across the 20 years of the study, the rates of social isolation in the borderline participants ranged from 22 percent to 32 percent, with 26 percent remaining isolated at the end of the study period.
Patients fear being abandoned, yet relationships rupture easily. Together with a chronic feeling of emptiness, patients with BPD are highly susceptible to feeling intensely lonely.
A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
It's characterized by unstable moods and emotions, which affect relationships and behaviors. As a result, friendships with people with BPD can be rocky. Sometimes, people with BPD engage in behaviors that can seem manipulative, mean-spirited, or destructive.
As with 'classic BPD', you have a deep fear of abandonment, but instead of fighting for attachment in the form of clinginess, in quiet BPD you believe you deserve to be abandoned. The self-loathing can drive you to isolate yourself for days and weeks.
Some of the key signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder are: A deep fear of being abandoned or unloved by those close to you.
The effects of untreated borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be devastating. For example, the physical and mental health impact of this disorder is so severe that life expectancy among people who have BPD is about 20 years less than the national average.
Each person diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder is often re-experiencing his or her past in what would otherwise be his or her here and now.
Personality disorders are chronic (long-term) dysfunctional behavior patterns that are inflexible, prevalent and lead to social issues and distress. Many people who live with borderline personality disorder don't know they have it and may not realize there's a healthier way to behave and relate to others.
Someone with BPD might also push someone away in order to “test” whether the person will stay with them or come back to them after being pushed away.
One explanation for the intolerance of being alone in BPD may be that individuals experience annihilation anxiety [10]. This is a traumatic anxiety based on an actual experience of danger and psychic helplessness [11], reflecting a fear of impending psychic or physical destruction [12].
Shifting Self-Image
A person with borderline personality disorder is often unable to trust their own feelings or reactions. Lacking a strong sense of self leads to a sense of emptiness and sometimes a sense of being non-existent, which is another reason BPD hurts so much.
A favorite person frequently is expected (consciously or otherwise) to help resolve unmet needs for the person with BPD.” People with BPD feel firmly attached to their favorite person and may depend on them for comfort, reassurance, and guidance.
Fear of Abandonment
Physical touch can be interpreted as a sign of intimacy and closeness. For someone with BPD, who struggles with a fear of abandonment, touch might stir up feelings of vulnerability and fear, leading to avoiding physical contact.
BPD is considered to be one of the most serious mental illnesses, as it causes a great deal of suffering and has a high-risk for suicide.”
Personality disorders that are susceptible to worsening with age include paranoid, schizoid, schizotypal, obsessive compulsive, borderline, histrionic, narcissistic, avoidant, and dependent, Dr. Rosowsky said at a conference sponsored by the American Society on Aging.
If left untreated, the person suffering from BPD may find themselves involved with extravagant spending, substance abuse, binge eating, reckless driving, and indiscriminate sex, Hooper says. The reckless behavior is usually linked to the poor self-image many BPD patients struggle with.
As predicted, compared to non-patients, BPD patients reported a higher crying frequency but a similar proneness to crying in response to negative and positive stimuli, and similar levels of inhibition and control. BPD patients further reported a lower awareness of the interpersonal effects of crying than non-patients.
An fMRI study done by the University of Georgia found that people with BPD traits had reduced activity in the specific brain regions that support empathy.
This can be a challenging process that often involves therapy and developing healthy coping mechanisms to manage feelings of abandonment and separation anxiety. It is important to note that getting over a favorite person is not always a permanent solution, as someone with BPD may develop new attachments over time.
Another hallmark of borderline personality disorder is having a favorite person—usually a family member, romantic partner, or someone in a supportive role, such as a teacher or coach. For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation.
So, what exactly does the BPD break up cycle look like? It can look like fear of abandonment, distrust of a partner, cheating, lack of communication and self-blame. It can look like idolizing a partner, confusing strong emotions for passion, anxiety and overreacting to interactions perceived as negative.
Examples of BPD splitting behavior include: Perceiving everything in black and white: Splitting forces the person into a position of thinking that everything is either perfect or awful, and since life is full of struggles and disappointments, they will usually see things as awful.