Key points. We have the one word, "love," to describe a wide range of feelings in a relationship, so men may get confused about when they are in love. Because we equate "love" with marriage, some women hesitate to use the word first, worrying it will scare a man away.
Fear of Rejection
Of course, one of the strongest fears that keeps us from saying what is in our heart is the fear of our feelings not being returned. Love is like a seesaw: It's easy to begin with one person caring more for another at the start, but a balance of give-and-take is what gives the relationship momentum.
If your partner didn't say “I love you” back, it could mean they're not ready or able to be as vulnerable as you are in the relationship, Richardson says. “There are a lot of people who fear what will happen when they say those words out loud.”
Conti says holding off for a long time isn't an automatic cause for concern — for some people, it just takes a lot longer to say it. “It may take some men years to say those words, because he may have an idea that he only wants to tell one woman that he loves her in his lifetime,” she says.
Should you say it first? "Someone has to say it first," Firstein says. So don't feel intimidated if you've been waiting for your partner to say those three little words. It's possible that they are having the same hesitation you are, not because they don't feel it, but because they want to know if you do first.
Few of them will say "I love you" without having a pretty good feeling the sentiment is shared. So, give your own clues: spend time with him, show interest in his interests, laugh when you think he's funny, make something for him (cookies, dinner, a card, a CD), and tell him you like him and enjoy his company.
If you notice he starts kissing your head or cheek, giving you hugs, or snuggling you closer, those are all clear signs that he's got feelings for you that go beyond desire. And when not in public, he isn't afraid to make it obvious on social media that he's with you.
If he truly loves you, you will simply feel it. You will see a consistent pattern. He will do things for you he wouldn't do for anyone else, and he will always respect you. And he will make it clear that he wants you in his present and in his future.
But if your partner doesn't say "I love you" ever, or hasn't said it yet at all, don't hesitate to have a conversation if you feel it necessary. Leckie suggests approaching it with caution. "You wouldn't want to ask them to say it more, because then it may come across as not being genuine," she says.
According to one survey, men take an average of 88 days to tell a partner "I love you," compared to a woman's 134. Moreover, 39 percent of men say "I love you" within the first month of dating someone, compared to just 23 percent of women. Personality differences also cause people to fall in love at different paces.
4. Guys actually like when you say it first. The pressure of responding to an "I love you" is way less than the pressure of saying it first. Think of saying it first as doing a favor, which is something you do for people you love.
Who should say 'I love you' first? Either partner can say “I love you” first. If you're feeling it and want your partner to know, it's OK to be the one who takes the plunge. In 2011, a study on relationship commitment among college students found most of them believed women generally say “I love you” first.
Some people take months or even years to confess their love because they believe "I love you" holds great meaning and want to wait until they're absolutely sure about how they feel, says clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, Ph.
For example, he holds your hand, has his arms around you, hugs you, always sit close to you, etc. 2- He puts a lot of efforts to make you feel loved. He brings random gifts for you, sings a song for you on a special day, makes time to talk to you anyhow, makes sudden plans, etc. 3- He always listens to you properly.
It all comes down to their love language. And while every guy is different, men, in general, tend to prefer physical affection, quality time, and words of affirmation. Like women, men show affection in the way they most like to receive it.
We have the one word, "love," to describe a wide range of feelings in a relationship, so men may get confused about when they are in love. Because we equate "love" with marriage, some women hesitate to use the word first, worrying it will scare a man away.
The question of when to say “I love you” in a relationship is a contentious one. In the many conversations I've had on the topic, the consensus seems to be that three months in is the sweet spot.