Empaths and narcissists make a 'toxic' partnership — here's why they're attracted to each other. Empaths and narcissists are often drawn to each other. This is because empaths have a lot of compassion and understanding to give, while narcissists thrive on someone worshipping them.
A narcissist is mostly concerned about themselves. However, they're usually incapable of giving themselves what they need, so they seek out people (usually empaths) to fulfill their needs, be it validation, a sense of power, financial support, etc. The issue with being an empath is their nature to give selflessly.
Their honesty and frankness and self-love stump the narcissist when their harsh cold insults used to devalue them don't work. Super empaths have a strong enough self-image to use their empathic powers to defeat even the most cunning and calculated narcissists.
So when an empath ends things, the narcissists may not be able to handle the rejection and do everything in their power to win back their estranged partner. They'll lie and say whatever they think the empath wants to hear. Often, this tactic works because narcissists are experts at turning on the charm.
It is a misconception that narcissists target weak, vulnerable people because they will be easier to manipulate. They actually go for the exact opposite. They look for people who are confident, successful, attractive and strong-willed.
People with type A personalities attract narcissists, but a relationship between the two is a recipe for disaster. Narcissists know exactly who to target. Often they go after people with high levels of empathy.
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
Empaths tend to desire validation and love from a narcissist, potentially due to their childhood experience of not having their emotional needs met by a caregiver or parent. Likely, an empath had a narcissistic parent, or experienced some kind of emotional neglect in which they learned that love is conditional.
One of the first things that happen to an Empath when they leave a relationship with a Narcissist is that they will deeply fear that they are a narcissist themselves. Taking a step toward yourself by acknowledging what you need and letting go of the idea that it's all your fault will feel selfish and wrong.
Because of the heightened sense of emotional intelligence empaths have, when they meet a narcissist, they might sense that inner emotional trauma or posturing and try and comfort the narcissist, taking on their natural “nurturing” role.
Intellectuals can make good partners for certain empaths because their sense of logic compliments and grounds an empath's emotional intensity. Ask for help. Intellectuals love to solve problems. Be very specific about ways they can assist you with a problem or task.
"They often gravitate towards those who can serve their needs, whether it's through admiration and validation or providing a sense of control and power," she said. "It's a complex dynamic, and understanding it can be helpful in navigating relationships with individuals who exhibit narcissistic traits."
A narcissist may have a breakdown if their supply is cut off and they feel vulnerable, embarrassed, or out of control. Narcissistic breakdown symptoms can include rage, impulsive behaviors, or other ways of showcasing intense mental suffering.
An empath will unknowingly feed the needs and desires of a narcissist by constantly giving their energy, emotions and time. And a narcissist will follow suit by taking and ultimately sucking the energy from an empath, like a leech. This viscous cycle becomes the foundation for an abusive and toxic relationship.
Drinking alcohol lowers inhibitions and can increase other narcissist behaviors including self-absorption, denial, illusions of grandeur, and destructiveness. These behaviors can lead to poor choices, including drinking and driving or excessive consumption, which can be fatal.
One of the main reasons why a narcissist ignores you is that they want to control you. More likely, they want to regain control of you. A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them. Especially if they feel like you are pulling away.
But here is the rub: Over time, the narcissist usually senses that you are pulling away, and it is then that your problems take on a different form. Narcissists hate feeling that they might be rejected or that you might conclude that they are defective. So, they go into compensation mode by turning the tables.
When a narcissist realizes they can no longer control you, it is common for them to use many different manipulation tactics to try to regain control over you, such as gaslighting, baiting, intermittent reinforcement, hoovering, narcissistic rage, discarding, smear campaigns, and self-victimization.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Narcissists' Greatest Fear
To narcissists, ordinary people (i.e., nearly everybody around them) aren't worthy of attention, so being ordinary would leave them unworthy of the spotlight and left to suffocate. Narcissists also need to feel special and superior to others.
Any perceived negative feedback, even if offered in gentle or productive ways, can easily result in outbursts of narcissistic rage. A narcissist cannot tolerate threats to their massive egos and grandiose self-image.