Narcissists can be tricky to identify because they overlap with people who are toxic, mean, fake, and deeply insecure for other reasons. Accurately detecting the narcissist in your life can make them much less bothersome.
Lies and then denial or shifting blame
That's true of the narcissist, too, but in a bad way: No matter where he starts, it will always come back to you, especially when he's lying. The narcissist lies for different reasons than the rest of us.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'” Scientists believe that this question could be all researchers need to make a quick and easy diagnosis of narcissism.
Have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant, excessive admiration. Feel that they deserve privileges and special treatment. Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements. Make achievements and talents seem bigger than they are.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Malignant narcissists are often regarded as having the most extreme form of NPD, and while they will have the regular qualities of someone with narcissistic personality disorder, their self-absorption and self-obsession is accompanied by some darker behaviors as well.
Thus, initial impressions of narcissists not only contain positive aspects pointing to a certain charm and self-assuredness but also negative aspects such as arrogance and lack of trust.
They're often introverted, sensitive, and prone to experiencing anxiety and shame. They may also struggle to maintain close friendships as they focus heavily on themselves, require attention, and are hyper-sensitive to perceived criticism.
Their eyes go from their natural colour into something so dark, so devoid of any human emotion, you become paralysed. This narcissistic stare is often referred to as a sociopathic stare, “death stare”, or “reptilian stare”, and is described as “pure evil”.
Thus, narcissists may pay special attention to their appearance, leading to observable manifestations such as matching, fashionable clothes, and a tidy, organized appearance. Another characteristic of narcissists that might affect their physical appearance is their desire to be the center of attention.
Narcissists do enjoy looking at themselves in the mirror. They may spend more time grooming themselves to bolster their grandiose self-images. In this way, narcissists may be more prone to self-objectify—and identify with and to base their self-worth on their external appearance, instead of their character.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
Nurturing People Pleasers – They ideal target loves to take care of other people and is always counted on to help everyone. Since a narcissist must be the center of attention and needs everything to be about them, a pleaser is the perfect target.
There is no grand list of specific phrases narcissists use, but there are common phrases to look out for like, “My exes are all crazy,” and, “You're too sensitive,” as well as a host of manipulation tactics to try to control you.
Sociopaths are more dangerous than narcissists. People with antisocial personality disorder are more likely to be engaged in an abusive or controlling relationship. They're also more likely to be involved in illegal activities or financial fraud schemes.
“Grandiose narcissism appears to correlate positively with healthy self-esteem and extroversion,” Papageorgiou says. These types of narcissists tend to be very confident, which is a good thing. (A vulnerable narcissist, on the other hand, might be overly sensitive.)
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a complex personality disorder often detected with other affective and personality disorders.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.