On the other end of the spectrum, however, there are narcissists who don't like their birthdays because they are reminders of ageing, or they find them overly emotional. In these instances, any kind of thoughtful or emotional gesture is likely to be rejected harshly.
Why do narcissists want to ruin your birthday? Because your birthday is supposed to be all about you and narcissists are not good at sharing… especially not when it comes to the ' spotlight'. They are also very jealous so they don't like that you are getting gifts and attention from other people as if you are special!
Birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, even a death in the family, are all valid reasons for a narcissist to reach out to you during a period of No Contact. It may, on the surface, seem innocent enough, but in actuality they are and trying to suck you back into their control.
The Narcissist hates to be ignored and holidays are a big deal for them. Ignoring the narcissist on their birthday will definitely hurt them, unless they have enough supply to feed their ego for the day.
Psychological abusers also like to hoover around their own birthdays, especially if they are narcissistic and think the world revolves around them (think developmental age of a 5 year old).
"So often, narcissistic folks can't win on their birthdays," she says. "They want that day to be something more grandiose and corrective, and it simply can't be. Over time, people in long-term relationships of any kind with narcissists may feel tense as that person's birthday approaches."
The Narcissist's Birthday
The narcissist may ignore many of the things that went well on their birthday and focus on the things that didn't. For instance; even if many people showed up to their birthday, they may worry about the people who could not be there for some reason.
Narcissists need a consistent amount of validation, admiration, and reassurance to keep their grandiose self-perception intact and their negative emotions suppressed. They “forget” birthdays because the celebration of others takes away too much attention from their fragile sense of self.
The best way to shut down a narcissist is to walk away from them. If all else fails, you can physically remove yourself from the conversation. Even if they keep talking, simply turn around and walk away. If they follow you, close the door.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
However, the narcissist does not take kindly to this. They call you heartless and uncaring. "How could you not already have a gift for me?" When you explain that you thought it would be better (and maybe more fun) if you went together to get a gift for him/her, they see this as an insult.
The truth is that nothing can make a narcissist happy, because their agenda of dominance, exploitation and oppression creates an ever-expanding chasm within their soul. The narcissist can take pleasure in the exercise of power and the subjugation of others, but they can't feel happiness from any source.
People with narcissism tend not to like seeing other people happy. When they see you happy, the best thing you can do is to stay firm on your boundaries, focus on the present and what makes you happy, and avoid getting into arguments. They might try to hurt you to disrupt your peace and justify their actions.
Narcissists are hurt by challenges or threats to their superior and grandiose self-image (also known as narcissistic injury). Their sense of entitlement and lack of empathy means they will attempt to destroy the culprit by any means necessary.
3% of subjects showed increased narcissistic traits between the ages of 18 and 41. The belief that one is smarter, better looking, more successful and more deserving than others — a personality trait known as narcissism — tends to wane as a person matures, a new study confirms.
Essentially, Christmas is a big trigger for the Narcissist. Think about it, they love to be the centre of attention, yes even the covert Narcissist, so the fact that Christmas is all about family, various people and children, well this just puts the Narcissist's nose out of joint. It's not a good time for them.
There's nothing a narcissist fears more than being left alone. Block their phone number, unfriend them on social media, and don't even acknowledge their presence if you're ever in the same room with one another. This won't just scare a narcissist—it will devastate them.
Narcissists have a hard time celebrating the big events of others. If there's a holiday gathering on the calendar, they will try to make themselves the center of attention through whatever means most natural and effective. Narcissists feel that holidays steal the spotlight that they, themselves, should own.
They will never be happy for you.
They are unwilling to think about your needs. They lack insight into your emotions. They believe you should feel the same way they feel. “Most narcissists lack the capacity to give significant, authentic love and empathy, and you have no choice but to deal with this reality …
Narcissists care more about celebrating themselves than celebrating anyone else. Narcissists give gifts that represent an investment in their own desires—not in the desire to please others. Grandiose and vulnerable narcissists ruin parties and social gatherings for different but related reasons—it's all about them.
Narcissists are uncertain of the boundaries between themselves and others and vacillate between dissociated states of self-inflation and inferiority. The self, divided by shame, is made up of the superior-acting, grandiose self and the inferior, devalued self.
Someone who is highly empathic might be drawn to narcissists, and vice versa, as narcissists rely on being the sole focus of their partner's attention.