If people are being mean to you--or you think "Why is everyone mean to me?"--remember these three things: They could be dealing with something major in their own life. You could be seeing something that's not really there. They could be legitimately being mean to you because you have something they want.
There can be many root causes for rudeness, such as insecurity or fear. People are often rude after being on the receiving end of rudeness. Researchers have found that “just like the common cold, common negative behaviors can spread easily and have significant consequences.” In other words… Rude is contagious!
Psychologists reveal why nice people sometimes get punished with meanness for their good behaviour. People who are generous and cooperative can get punished by others for being 'too good', research finds. Humans in all cultures can be suspicious of those who appear nicer or better than the rest.
Another tactic to stop the spiral of rudeness is to simply call them out on their behavior and ask them to stop. If someone you can't get away from is consistently rude to you, you need to address the issue directly. There is no need for you to take ongoing abuse from anyone.
Psychologists say that people start being mean to other people when they are angry, sad or hurt or when they were treated poorly by others. Sounds crazy – why do something to others that made you feel bad? Well, they do it because they want to get rid of that bad feeling by giving it to others.
Key points. Research shows that being insulted makes people more likely to demean others. Freud argued that people cope with negative views of themselves by perceiving other people as having those same traits. Researchers have discovered that threatened self-esteem drives a lot of aggression.
An excessively nice person might never be really known on a deep level or taken seriously. Their preferences might be over-ridden, and they could be neglected. It can even impact your job. Being too accommodating can make you a bit invisible, because you never stand for anything.
Rudeness, particularly with respect to speech, is necessarily confrontational at its core. Forms of rudeness include acting inconsiderate, insensitive, deliberately offensive, impolite, obscenity, profanity and violating taboos such as deviancy.
Try: "I know it can be hard to put yourself out there, but unfortunately, I'm not interested. I appreciate you asking and being respectful, though.” An important caveat: The moment someone speaks to you disrespectfully—say, by asking you more than once or trying to change your mind—you should change your strategy.
How do you respond to people who say hurtful things to you?
How to respond to rude comments
Pause to regroup. When someone says something hurtful, consider taking several seconds — or longer — to breathe, feel your feelings, and consider your response. ...
It's natural to assume someone's bad behavior is a conscious choice. But many people with toxic traits don't realize that their behavior impacts others. You may have toxic traits that you don't know about.
The fear of being socially judged is one of the most common forms of insecurity. Some people feel self-conscious, anxious, and fearful when in front of others. It doesn't matter whether it's a group of colleagues or family members.
Toxic people are often insecure people. They tend to make themselves feel or seem better than others by talking badly about them rather than taking concrete actions to develop their skills. They are judgmental. Toxic people feel entitled to judge others, their actions, decisions, and lifestyles.
One sign of insecurity is low self-esteem or negative self-image, particularly when that image seems to be inconsistent with external observation. Low self-esteem means you think badly about yourself or your abilities. It can lead to other problems, especially concerning mental health.
