It is believed that BPD individuals have a predisposition to emotional dysregulation, impulsive behaviors, and reacting aggressively to perceived upsetting situations without any foresight of potential negative implications. They also struggle with an inability to control their overactive urges.
BPD Anger Triggers
They may be driven by a desire to be connected to others, yet loss of emotional control frequently drives others away. In some cases, the level of rage can lead to violence. Rage in an individual with BPD can occur suddenly and unpredictably.
People who have BPD often have tremendous issues with anger — both expressing it and being the recipient of it. They will often go to extreme lengths to make people happy in order to avoid having people get angry at them. The flip side of that is that they themselves can go into a drop dead rage at the drop of a hat.
Anger in people with BPD may represent one side of their feelings which can rapidly reverse so keeping this point in mind can help avoid taking the anger personally. Sit with them through it and remind them their feelings are valid and you are there to support them.
For someone with BPD, anger can be extreme, sudden, and incredibly difficult to control. People with BPD often struggle to control their emotions, leading to intense and inappropriate anger.
What is BPD rage like? A person with BPD may react to an event that may seem small or unimportant to someone else, such as a misunderstanding, with very strong and unhealthy expressions of anger, including: Physical violence. Sarcasm.
Identifying Episodes
Intense angry outbursts. Suicidal thoughts and self-harm behavior. Going to great lengths to feel something, then becoming increasingly avoidant and withdrawn. Paranoia, feeling as if there is someone out to get you.
To try and tackle the “divide” in the relationship, the borderline sufferer might begin to withdraw or pick fights. This, they hope, will make their partner “fight” for the relationship, and in turn help them to stop worrying. This is where the relationship could begin to fall apart.
Because of their overall pessimistic demeanor, they can easily feel slighted and may express this aggressively or hold it in and build resentment. Those with this type of BPD tend to view people in “black and white” terms (known as BPD splitting), so they are likely to hold onto a grudge after feeling insulted.
Borderline personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood. The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age.
While not everyone with BPD will encounter this uncontrollable anger, those who do (and the people around them) struggle greatly. BPD rage usually has an immediate onset and can vanish just as quickly or last for hours, even days.
Often it seems as though there is no remorse or regret when someone with borderline intentionally, or unintentionally, hurt someone they love. They say cruel things, act in cruel ways, and can cause real harm to themselves or to others. When called on it, they will act with little remorse or regret.
Once upset, borderline people are often unable to think straight or calm themselves in a healthy way. They may say hurtful things or act out in dangerous or inappropriate ways. This emotional volatility can cause turmoil in their relationships and stress for family members, partners, and friends.
Relationships & Borderline Personality Disorder
“We also have intense and sudden mood changes, and we have severe difficulty regulating our emotions. Unintentionally, we tend to blame others when we make a mistake, which causes us to be manipulative and cruel to those we care about.”
It is important to remember that while having a relationship with a person with BPD can be challenging, they are not intentionally trying to hurt you. Rather, they lack the ability to understand and cope with their emotional pain, which causes them to act in ways that hurt others.
The fear of being abandoned often causes people with BPD to form unhealthy attachments. Sometimes, they may abruptly cut off these relationships, effectively abandoning their partners. Other times, they make frantic attempts to hold onto relationships.
Punishment and revenge are central to the manifestation of what Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is and means when it comes to relationships. The struggle of those with BPD relationally, is rooted in a proverbial no-win situation. Borderlines do not know how to cope with intimacy – it leaves them feeling engulfed.
Not only is BPD one of the most painful mental illnesses, but it's also intensified by stigma and being misunderstood by others. Fortunately, borderline personality disorder is a treatable condition, and the pain doesn't have to be endless.
These are people who do not have a clear sense of who they are, what they look like, and how they are seen by others. Moods are stormy, shifting, unstable as the person becomes easily offended and either angry or rageful even though others may think there is not reason for it.
People who have BPD tend to view others in all-or-nothing, black-and-white terms. This self-protective defense mechanism aims to help people with BPD protect themselves from getting hurt in relationships.
They may try to bait you into anger, then falsely accuse you of rejecting them, make you doubt reality and your sanity. It's not unusual for them to cut off friends and relatives who they feel have betrayed them.
Dating someone with borderline personality disorder can be challenging. Your partner may have major difficulties with strong emotions, drastic mood swings, chronic fear of abandonment, and impulsive behaviors that can strain your relationship with chaos and instability.
People with borderline personality disorder may experience intense mood swings and feel uncertainty about how they see themselves. Their feelings for others can change quickly, and swing from extreme closeness to extreme dislike. These changing feelings can lead to unstable relationships and emotional pain.
Psychosis. Psychosis refers to a severe disconnection from reality. Psychotic episodes include hallucinations or delusions. Psychosis can occur in both schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder, but psychotic episodes in BPD are, by definition, short, fleeting, and related to stress.
BPD makes people more likely to engage in impulsive or risky behaviors, such as: Speeding or other unsafe driving. Unprotected sex or sex with strangers. Binge eating.