There are many reasons why some people are hard to love. It could be because of past hurt or trauma that they've experienced in life or relationships. Or it could be any number of other things. If you're struggling in a relationship with loving someone, it could be a sign that the relationship is unhealthy.
When you're hard to love, it means someone thinks that love means doing what they want without compromise or consequence. It means that when they did something and you said you didn't like it, their discomfort at finding your boundary is easier spent resenting you than reflecting on their behavior.
Those who identify as aromantic may not feel love or a desire to participate in romantic relationships. It can be normal to identify as aromantic and isn't necessarily a sign of an underlying mental health problem. Aromantic individuals may or may not choose to have romantic relationships or close intimate connections.
Childhood trauma is a leading cause of adults feeling unloveable. This might have been the loss of a parent or sibling, being abandoned or neglected by a parent, having a mentally unwell or addicted parent. Childhood sexual abuse in particular leaves children with a damaged view of themselves.
"If you feel like your goals are incompatible or would create a lot of barriers to being together, this can be a sign that it's the wrong time," he says. "When two people are heading in a similar direction in life, there may still be barriers, but perhaps there isn't as much of an obstruction."
However, receiving love can also be difficult for many to practice, due to self-limiting beliefs or blockages to love. Emotions like shame, guilt, or low self-esteem can keep some from receiving the love they need in healthy relationships.
The American Psychological Association clarify what tough love means in psychology: It is aimed at fostering individuals' well-being. It means requiring the person to act responsibly and seek professional assistance when they are experiencing problems.
Confidence and self-esteem play a vital role when it comes to love. However, many people are unable to find love because they don't think they're worthy of having it. These types of beliefs often have roots reaching as far back as early childhood and can have a huge impact on our lives.
Alexithymia is when a person has difficulty experiencing, identifying, and expressing emotions. It is not a mental health disorder but has links with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), eating disorders, and various other conditions.
Being loved arouses anxiety because it threatens long-standing psychological defenses formed early in life in relation to emotional pain and rejection, therefore leaving a person feeling more vulnerable.
Ask yourself: Do they get along with the other people in my life? Do I get along with their friends and family? Do we have mutual interests and things that we enjoy doing together that can be a source of sustainability in a relationship? If the answer is yes, then you may be on the right track."
The first year of the relationship is the hardest stage, and even when you're living together, you still discover new things about each other every day. How to Survive: The key to getting past the discovery stage is also discovery. The discovery of your partner's imperfections and your imperfections as well.
You handle conflict respectfully and constructively.
They apologize when necessary and find ways to resolve an issue, reconnect, and move on. If you feel safe, listened to, respected, and loved in your relationship—in and after an argument—you've probably found a good match.
If your daughter feels unloved, she may suffer from several emotional problems. Symptoms can include depression, anxiety, self-harm, and more. These feelings are often the result of the way her parents treated her during her childhood.
Feeling as if you don't care about anything anymore may be related to anhedonia or apathy. Anhedonia is a mental state in which people have an inability to feel pleasure. It is often a symptom of mental health conditions such as depression, bipolar disorder, and substance use.
People who feel unlovable might engage in people-pleasing behaviors and struggle with recognizing when someone is manipulating or taking advantage of them. This is because they believe that they need to earn love. A person who feels unlovable might have difficulty setting healthy boundaries.
While there is no one explanation for emotional unavailability, it can be caused by a number (or combination) of factors. These include attachment styles developed in childhood, history in relationships, trauma, mental health conditions, and one's circumstances and priorities.
It is common that when someone is experiencing a disturbance in their emotional and mental health, they may not demonstrate as much affection as they would at other times. Some mental health examples include depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, or even obsessive compulsive disorder.
The study, which looked at the dating habits of more than 5,000 single men and women in the U.S., found that one in five men say they've never been in love. Women fair a bit better: 18 per cent reported they've never been in love, either.
And, according to the findings, the average age you'll find your partner varies from gender to gender. That's right - the research found that the average woman finds their life partner at the age of 25, while for men, they're more likely to find their soulmate at 28.