You may feel you can't leave an unhappy marriage for a variety of reasons, but it doesn't mean you have to be stuck. Individual or marriage counseling with a qualified therapist can help you work towards a healthier balanced life – and just maybe bring happiness back to your marriage.
The study found that on average unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married when rated on any of 12 separate measures of psychological well-being. Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery.
There's a term for this: walkaway wife syndrome. This term is sometimes used to describe instances where a spouse – often the wife – has felt alone, neglected, and resentful in a deteriorating marriage and decides it's time to end it.
"Silent divorce refers to a gradual slow decline of a relationship whereby two people drift apart," says relationship therapist Beverley Blackman.
Al-Sherbiny [41] reported the “first wife syndrome,” where the first wife reported difficulties faced psychological, physical, and social problems among women in a polygamous marriage.
Why You Might Be Happier After Divorce. Women fare better than men. A study by Kingston University in the UK found that despite the negative financial impact of divorce on women, they are generally happier than men after divorce.
Fear. The threat of physical violence, further emotional abuse, harming your children by depriving them of a nuclear family, and concern about how friends and family will perceive them are commonly-cited reasons why people may choose to stay in an unhappy marriage.
A 2002 study found that two-thirds of unhappy adults who stayed together were happy five years later. They also found that those who divorced were no happier, on average, than those who stayed together. In other words, most people who are unhappily married—or cohabiting—end up happy if they stick at it.
If your unhappiness stems from an abusive marriage, fear of leaving is probably attached to safety and/or financial issues: Will he follow me? Will he hurt me, the kids, or pets? Will he cut off my access to money?
Relying on someone else to provide that fulfillment will always take away your sense of self and purpose. Everyday you spend in the wrong relationship is another day you lose your identity to it. You are not selfish for ending a marriage.
When there are more pros than cons, you can stay in this marriage because there is something worth fighting for. But when there are more cons than pros, you no longer love your partner and don't feel inclined toward working together to resolve your differences, leaving may be the better option.
Hardships, such as the loss of a job or infertility can dramatically strain a relationship and lead to depression. The relationship itself, if it is experiencing serious problems, can also cause someone to develop depression. No matter the cause, depression can end up affecting one or both people in the marriage.
Slower Healing and More Illness — Couples who are stressed and upset don't heal as quickly as others if they have surgery or injuries. Those in bad marriages get sick more often due to chronic stress that leaves the body more vulnerable to illness and infections.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety and Depression, and Identity and Personality Disorders are some of the most common ways that an unhappy marriage affects you and your mental health. Not only is this incredibly disabling for the people in the marriage, but for the children of the married couple as well.
Fear: In abusive relationships, one partner is likely to be extremely manipulative towards the other. This frequently involves making physical, emotional, or financial threats if the other person talks about leaving. As a result, the victim might be afraid to leave their partner.
Looking at the results, the women appear unhappier in their marriages and also were more likely than men to make the decision to file for divorce. Specifically, when asked if they had thought about leaving their spouse in the last year, 20% of married women said yes.
However, as for men, 39% of the 206 ex-husbands report they regret leaving their wives.
Divorce can shake the ability of a woman to be true to herself. Women feel that their identity is lost because of their usual association as being wives and mothers. In lieu of this light, women should recognize unique gifts that set them apart and place emphasis on empowering them.
“I should never have done it” is the kind of thing usually uttered privately after a divorce. And after the papers have been signed, the property divided, the child custody settled, and the emotional pain still lingering, it's usually too late to go back.” That is a lot of regret and broken marriages/families!
Some see divorce as the cure-all; they hope that divorce will end their unhappiness. One of the best long-term studies of divorce found that divorce, in and of itself, generally does not lead to a better life. Some people are happier as a result of divorce.
Starter marriage culture leads to what I'm not-so-fondly calling “starter husband syndrome,” the idea that your first “marriage-worthy” relationship is much like a starter home, acquired to just make do for a little while and to build equity until you're ready to trade it in for something newer and better.
In a relationship, the good girl syndrome can limit a woman's desire to explore its sexual aspects. It makes her believe that going beyond the boundaries set by society will have her labeled as something dirty or untamed, and no woman wants that.
Kranti says, “As a first wife, you would maybe marry your partner and their family. As a second wife, you go a step further and marry a partner, their family, their kids, and in some ways, even their ex.