A common reason that dismissive avoidants return to an ex-partner is if they genuinely couldn't commit to a relationship. Here are a few examples: They were involved with their career and didn't have time for a romantic relationship.
Dismissive avoidants tend to circle back to the familiarity of a relationship, and sometimes you may find that a dismissive avoidant keeps coming back again and again. Returning to the familiarity of a relationship doesn't always mean a dismissive avoidant wants to get back together.
Most fearful avoidants will reach out or begin responding again after 2 – 5 days because they want connection and feel happier in relationships. You may even reach out and they'll tell you that they wanted to reach out and/or give some “fearful avoidant” reason why they didn't.
Your ex might return for various reasons. For example, they could miss you, still feel in love, or want to work on the conflicts that ended the relationship. In other cases, they might feel lonely, don't want to take responsibility for their actions or feel the breakup wasn't permanent.
We have found that on average a fearful avoidant will not initiate a reconnection with you. However, there is a window of time where they do consider it and if you time it right you can get them to come back if that's what you want.
Yes, the dismissive avoidant misses you, but they miss you later on. In the beginning they're going to be relieved that they have their freedom. They can get their independence back and they get to go and do what they want to do without having to answer any questions to anybody.
A fearful avoidant during no contact acts slightly differently from other attachment styles. Going no contact with them can become extremely distracting and often requires a lot of discipline. The fearful-avoidant does not express remorse or sadness over heartbreak in the initial weeks of the breakup.
Most male dumpers will start coming back, the moment you send them subtle signals that you might be moving on. So this actually depends on you. It tends to take anywhere from one week to six months. As long as you're chasing him, he will have no reason to come back.
Generally speaking, some dumpers regret their decision to break up only weeks after the incident. Other dumpers need years to feel that way. And some never even arrive at the final stage of dumpers remorse. Instead, they move on to someone else — be it a rebound or not.
The No-Contact Rule
An ex may come back even when they are not sure of your relationship status. Quite possibly, few things reminded them of you so strongly that they could not hold on. Plus, it is not necessary to keep in touch. Yet, a lot of people keep tabs on their exes through common friends or social media.
They're always looking for the red flags, and they will find them, so when you go no contact with the dismissive avoidant, don't expect them to reach out to you.
The first reason a dismissive avoidant ex may come back to you is if the relationship ended on neutral or positive terms. People with this attachment style aren't big on processing difficult emotions because, often, they struggle with emotional intelligence.
Rebound relationships, in most cases, last from a few months to a year. They usually don't last in the long term because the rebounding partner has not moved on from their previous partner. In rare cases, they may last for years. The longevity of a relationship depends on the understanding between the partners.
The fearful avoidant will typically go through a period of euphoria after a breakup due to their newfound freedom from the confines of the relationship. However, that doesn't mean they won't eventually regret the breakup.
So a lot of the times you'll see them recover within the next three to five days so leaving them alone is really a great way to deal with the situation. Of course, it's always easier said than done especially when many of our clients have anxious attachment styles.
Dismissive Avoidants Aren't As Likely To Quickly Jump Into Another Relationship. Fearful Avoidants Are More Likely To Be Caught In On Again/Off Again Relationships.
Does no contact make him miss you? Yes! One of the best ways to use silence after a breakup is to cut off all means of communication. That includes going silent on social media after a breakup.
For context: Rebound relationships go through 5 stages: Pre-Rebound, Honeymoon, Conflicts And Reality, Nostalgia And Comparison, and The Epiphany. And non-rebound relationships go through three: Lust, Attraction/Obsessive Love, and Attachment.
The way a dumper feels after a month of no contact is that they'll usually still be stuck in the “separation elation” phase. Don't fear though, the bell will toll as the depressive episode is just around the corner.
Sadness (and regret) – Not every dumper reaches regret, but it is inevitable that they will hit sadness because no matter how they cope, no one can avoid grieving a loss.
In most cases, if you give your ex enough space, they will at some point miss you. Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to get on their hands and knees and beg for you back. For some the “missing emotion” can be fleeting. For others, all consuming.
Yes, guys miss their ex after a breakup. Who doesn't? Unless he was never emotionally attached to his ex, it's hardly impossible for a guy not to miss his ex. Relationships are full of memories, events, feelings, emotions, happiness, disagreements, and everything in life.
Once again, people with a dismissive-avoidant style showed that they did care about relationships. Dismissive avoidant students reported higher self-esteem and positive mood than non-dismissives—but only when told that surgency predicts future interpersonal success.
At first an avoidant will go through this period of separation elation and often won't feel your loss until they perceive that you have moved on. At that point they start to reminisce and could potentially start caring if you leave.
So, before an avoidant attacher can even be faced with the possibility of rejection and abandonment in a relationship, they tend to look for escape routes. If someone close to them pushes for increased intimacy and emotional closeness, their fear response is triggered – which, as we now know – is flight.