People who have BPD tend to view others in all-or-nothing, black-and-white terms. This self-protective defense mechanism aims to help people with BPD protect themselves from getting hurt in relationships. By labeling people as "good," they are able to engage in relationships despite the emotional risks.
An individual with BPD may initially idolize or idealize someone, seeing them as perfect, wonderful, or indispensable.
At the start of the relationship, your partner with BPD might tend to idealize you and everything you do. They may focus all their attention on you, singing your praises, and demanding your attention. They might see only the positives and feel you correspond to their interest and feelings.
The idealization phase can last from a few weeks to a few years. It is important to remember that this phase is just one aspect of the borderline personality disorder diagnosis and that not all people with it will go through it.
Individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) commonly have a favorite person (FP), whom they are heavily emotionally attached to and dependent on.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem.
Loneliness may be common with BPD, but it's not impossible to overcome. There are many strategies you can use to feel less alone, such as joining a support group, taking classes, caring for an animal, and finding new ways to communicate with your loved ones. You may also want to consider engaging in therapy.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
Borderline personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood. The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age.
The 3 C's are: I didn't cause it. I can't cure it. I can't control it.
This cycle of idealization and devaluation is part of the DSM-5 diagnostic criteria for BPD. It's a defense mechanism that unconsciously occurs when facing stress, a new situation or distressing emotions. Splitting makes it easier for the individual to deal with situations that bring about complex feelings.
People with BPD can be very direct and honest people, and while it does not always feel that way to them and others, they are often well equipped to handle challenges in life. Myth #6: People with BPD are dramatic attention-seekers.
However, if the favorite person does something that the individual perceives as abandonment or rejection, they may feel overwhelmed by negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, or anxiety. These emotions can be all-consuming, leading to suicidal ideation, self-harm, or impulsive behavior.
"People with BPD have a tendency to view people, and themselves, in very black or white terms," Dr. Miari said. "They tend to idolize people in certain situations and then devalue them very quickly." That makes it hard for them to stick with not only romantic partners but also career choices and friend groups.
People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) occasionally exhibit strong impulsivity, seduction, and excessive sexuality. For both men and women with BPD, sexual promiscuity, sexual obsessions, and hypersexuality or sexual addiction are common symptoms.
The fear of being abandoned often causes people with BPD to form unhealthy attachments. Sometimes, they may abruptly cut off these relationships, effectively abandoning their partners. Other times, they make frantic attempts to hold onto relationships.
In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness. In many cases, this disorder is the direct result of childhood trauma, abuse, violence, or neglect.
It's characterized by unstable moods and emotions, which affect relationships and behaviors. As a result, friendships with people with BPD can be rocky. Sometimes, people with BPD engage in behaviors that can seem manipulative, mean-spirited, or destructive.
Personality disorders are chronic (long-term) dysfunctional behavior patterns that are inflexible, prevalent and lead to social issues and distress. Many people who live with borderline personality disorder don't know they have it and may not realize there's a healthier way to behave and relate to others.
People with BPD may experience rage when they perceive rejection, neglect, or abandonment in a relationship. During rage, a person may say or do things that they later regret. This could lead to ending the relationship in the heat of the moment. BPD rage is often followed by significant regret and shame.
An impulsive borderline is often highly charismatic, energetic and engaging. They can be superficial, flirtatious and elusive, seeking thrills and becoming quickly bored.
For instance, a study has shown that people with BPD are able to read facial expressions and emotions better than those without BPD. Curiosity – Being extra sensitive and connection emotions, senses and surroundings allows for greater curiosity in the minds of those with BPD.
The only pairing I have seen that works well for and is healing for people with BPD is when they find a partner who is emotionally present, consistently faithful and loyal, unconditionally loving, but also sets boundaries. People with BPD can find rejecting partners and codependent partners fairly easily.