Chinese families will typically give the guests a red envelope with either a coin or a dollar bill in it for good luck and a white envelope that has a piece of candy in it to take away the bitter taste of death. They also do not put pictures of the deceased loved one on the casket.
Giving money is a large part of the Chinese funeral tradition. Those who attend the wake are expected to give money in white envelopes. This is then used for the funeral. The amount given by the guests depends on their relationship with the deceased.
The ceremony
Guests may be given a red envelope with a coin inside to give them safe passage home, along with a red thread to tie to the door to ward off evil spirits. The funeral procession will then travel to the crematorium or cemetery.
Condolence money (also known as pek kim)
Condolence money, bereavement money or pek kim – is a custom that involves offering a token sum to the family of the bereaved, which is commonly used to help cover the funeral costs.
A common Chinese superstition dictates that spirits hanging around gravesites often attempt to follow the living home after a funeral procession. The family of the deceased may present you with a red thread following the funeral. You are supposed to take the thread home and tie it to your doorknob.
For Funeral Visitors
Representatives of the bereaved family will stand by the altar and bow to you as a token of gratitude for your attendance. You may politely decline for religious or other reasons and choose to observe a moment of silence and bow as a general sign of respect.
It is also taboo to wear bright colours such as red or yellow during the mourning period. Immediate family members wear a coarse burlap overcoat, hat and slippers to show that the mourners' care for appearances and personal comfort have given way to grief.
It was once common for close friends and family members to give money to a family when someone died. This practice existed in part because handling all the details of death can be expensive, and loved ones often contributed to defray the cost.
Money is not an appropriate gift, although exceptions may be made when the family is left in extreme financial difficulty. In that case, friends may wish to pool contributions to make a gift of assistance.
How much money should you offer? A family in need will appreciate any amount of money, so offer as much as you can afford. If you weren't very close to the deceased, you may offer the amount equivalent to a flower arrangement. At the end of the day, it's the gesture that counts the most.
These are filled with money - and symbolize good wishes and luck for the new year ahead. The importance of the hóngbāo isn't the cash held inside; it's actually the envelope itself. The red color symbolizes good luck and prosperity in Chinese (and other East Asian) cultures.
Guests at a Chinese funeral wear somber colors like black. Bright and colorful clothing, especially red, must be avoided as these colors are associated with happiness. White is acceptable and, if the deceased was 80 or above, white with pink or red is acceptable as the event is cause for celebration.
Chinese families will typically give the guests a red envelope with either a coin or a dollar bill in it for good luck and a white envelope that has a piece of candy in it to take away the bitter taste of death. They also do not put pictures of the deceased loved one on the casket.
The Chinese believe that seven days after the death of a family member the soul of the departed will return to his/her home. A red plaque with a suitable inscription may be placed outside the house at this time to ensure that the soul does not get lost.
Put in a small red envelop or packets, the Chinese lucky money, also known as Hongbao or Yasuiqian in Chinese, is a monetary gift which are given during the Chinese Spring Festival holidays.
Monetary gift
It is a very common tradition to offer money, known as 'white gold', at a Chinese funeral. The 'white gold' is preferably in odd numbers such as $30 or $50 and is placed in a white envelope which will be given to the bereaved loved ones at the funeral reception.
Is it ever too late to express your sympathy to someone who has suffered a loss? If you're trying to follow proper etiquette, it's best to send a note, gift or flowers within two weeks of the funeral. However, you can do it later, as long as you feel it would be helpful rather than painful.
It is customary to show your respects by viewing the deceased if the body is present and the casket is open. You may wish to say a silent prayer for, or meditate about, the deceased at this time. In some cases the family may escort you to the casket. The length of your visit at the wake is a matter of discretion.
Flowers, sympathy cards, custom keepsakes, and donations are all appropriate gifts to bring to a funeral. While a gift is certainly not required, it can be a thoughtful way to communicate your love for those grieving. Flower and plant arrangements can often be sent to the funeral home prior to the service.
In order to cross the river Styx, the deceased need to pay the ferryman Charon. Only after this are they welcome into the afterlife. During the burial, the living place coins either in the mouth or on the eyes of the deceased so that they can pay this fee.
Much like the wake, family members will bring fruit, incense, and money to the funeral service. The Chinese funeral flower is the iris and it's common for relatives to bring wreaths made of white irises and it's customary for the deceased's employer to bring a wreath wrapped in Irises and money.
Refrain from trimming your nails or hair, as these have been given by one's parents. During the initial days of their passing, such acts must be avoided.
All others attending a funeral wear bright colors, even white, to signify that their relationship to the deceased was not as strong as close family members. Red is not worn because it is the color of happiness and worn at weddings.