“Often, it can be due to feelings of insecurity, self-doubt or anxiety about the future,” she said. “A lack of confidence in relationships can also contribute to clinginess.
A clingy girlfriend may use communication to keep herself updated about you because she feels your entire life must revolve around her. She wants you to talk to her all the time without giving you enough space. This behavior usually comes from insecurity or the expectation that your attention should only be on her.
It can come as a surprise when your partner asks for space. While clingy tendencies may have been “ok” in your previous relationship, being overly needy is generally considered a toxic dating habit.
Clinginess can be a caused by a variety of things. Very often, it can be caused by low self-esteem or insecurity. Expressing a strong need for attention can be a manifestation of the fear that a partner either doesn't like you, or that they'll leave.
A 2021 study found that clingy behavior is the biggest turn-off in romantic relationships.
Being clingy makes you more dependent on someone, making it harder to break away from them. You don't want to attribute your happiness to one person (unless, of course, that person is yourself). One of the most difficult things to work on is being less clingy, especially if you are already an extremely clingy person.
'Clingy' is a term often used to describe someone who does not have clear boundaries and tends to get over-attached emotionally or even physically. If your boyfriend is overly possessive, jealous (even of your non-romantic relationships), and irrationally insecure about your whereabouts, he is clingy.
You need to find a compromise and, to do that, you must talk to her. Explain your feelings. Let her know you don't like feeling boxed in. Tell her how much you like her, and that you love spending time with her, but that you want to be able to spend time with other people as well.
Excessive Texting
For instance, texting non-stop could indicate that one partner is clingy and needy and feeling insecure in the relationship. While this is usually only harmful to the person doing the excessive texting, it can be smothering to the person on the receiving end.
To those who are clingy, extreme thoughts and actions look and feel a lot like love and intimacy; and they don't want to let a good thing go. The problem is that this feeling — the obsession with physical and mental closeness that can come off as clingy — is not love.
Clingy is needy, and obsessive is being unhinged about someone, and can result in extreme jealousy. They come from the same childhood trauma. Clinginess is a sense of abandonment. Obsession is a sense of possession.
In most cases, clingy isn't a desirable adjective. Being clingy implies that you are being overdependent on somebody and would like to stay close to that person almost 24X7. Normally, people will tell you that being clingy is bad news for your relationship.
How long should you expect this separation anxiety to last? It usually peaks between ten and eighteen months and then fades during the last half of the second year. In some ways, this phase of your child's emotional development will be especially tender for both of you, while in others, it will be painful.
If you love meeting new people, asking deep questions, and simply spending a lot of time with others, you may find you get attached more easily to others. Especially if you're in a romantic relationship with someone. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, provided you're a good judge of character.
Different sources of anxiety can be at the root of clingy or needy behavior. Developing new coping skills, such as meditation or cognitive behavioral techniques, can reduce this behavior. In some cases, there may be a real relationship problem to address, such as an affair or undiscussed mental health condition.
Prior to talking to the person, write down what you'd like to say to them. Avoid attacking them; politely tell them that the friendship is no longer working for you and you feel it's best to go your separate ways. Go over it once or twice to make sure you have a clear and concise explanation for why. Set boundaries.
When it came to how many consecutive texts were considered "needy," both people in long-distance relationships and not in long-distance relationships said that about six texts hit the mark. That number was about the same for the women and men surveyed.
Dopamine induces a loop -- it starts us seeking, then we get rewarded for the seeking which makes us seek more. Which is what I think happens when we respond to texts, or emails. The result is that we can't stop looking at email, texting, or checking our cell phones to see if we have a message or a new text.
A lot of studies have shown that texting is a great way to start a romance, especially because of how convenient it is and doesn't make the people involved feel the awkwardness that comes with meeting in person. An interesting research even found that it takes 163 text messages to fall in love with someone!