The primary reason that we find ourselves thinking about infidelity is because we aren't getting what we need from our partners or our relationships. You might have buried your needs, or grown away from your partner.
Sexual desire
A simple desire to have sex can motivate some people to cheat. Other factors, including opportunity or unmet sexual needs, may also play a part in infidelity that's motivated by desire. But someone who wants to have sex might also look for opportunities to do so without any other motivators.
"There is nothing wrong with thinking about cheating. Taking action on those thoughts is something that can drastically change your life though. Being able to talk with someone else will help you gain perspective and clarity."
There are a number of reasons why people get the urge to cheat, from the simple fact of convenience, to more serious issues with intimacy, sex addiction, or personality problems that should be worked through with a mental health professional.
In some cases, it stems from unmet needs in a relationship. Issues like lack of communication, boredom, and personal insecurities can fester when they're not fully addressed. If one partner feels like they're never listened to or respected in their primary relationship, they may look for that in another person.
Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them. In fact, many affairs happen in relationships that are otherwise very happy.
They are possessive
If they suspect that you're cheating, it could be because they want to be in charge of where you go and who you spend time with. If this is the case, you'll probably see it manifest in other ways in your relationship too. Maybe your partner doesn't like your friends, regardless of their sex.
Summary. Micro-cheating involves participating in inappropriate intimate connections with others outside your relationship.
According to the General Social Survey, men are more likely to cheat than women, with 20% of men and 13% of women reporting having sex with someone other than their partner while still married. However, the gender gap varies per age.
It's really hard to understand why people cheat on people they love. Sometimes, people decide to cheat because they feel unloved, or like they have fallen out of love, with their partner. Sometimes, they feel the romance is gone from their relationship, and having an illicit romance gives them a sense of excitement.
These differing viewpoints can cause big problems in any relationship. The question as to whether cheating is ever justified is both an ethical and moral one. The general answer for most is, “no”, it is never okay.
People who fantasize about someone other than their partner may also have fewer inhibitions and feel less constrained by the bonds of commitment. Fantasy infidelities are not a sign that something is profoundly lacking in a relationship, but they can be a gateway to actual infidelity.
Still, we know that anxieties about infidelity can serve as a warning sign. In most cases, these worries indicate a fear of being rejected, punished, hurt, abandoned, or some combination of the above. That fear is externalized into impulses that are recognizable even when not being acted upon.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to spend your life voraciously pursuing multiple sexual partners. There is, however, something wrong with withholding from someone information which, if revealed, would change their decision to be with you.
Also known as emotional-cheating, micro cheating falls under the umbrella of emotional infidelity and refers to small, seemingly insignificant things that a person can do that, while not explicitly unfaithful, can carry with them the hint of infidelity.
Women in their 60s report the highest rate of infidelity (16%), but the share goes down sharply among women in their 70s and 80s. By comparison, the infidelity rate among men in their 70s is the highest (26%), and it remains high among men ages 80 and older (24%).
People who get away with cheating when they believe no one is hurt by their dishonesty are more likely to feel upbeat than remorseful afterward, according to new research published by the American Psychological Association.
There are consistent associations between infidelity and each of the Big 5 traits. For example, people who cheat in romantic relationships score higher on Neuroticism, Openness to Experience, and Extraversion. They score lower on Agreeableness and Conscientiousness.
Signs of emotional cheating
You share things with the other person that you haven't shared with your partner. You confide in the other person about your relationship troubles. You've become more detached and emotionally disconnected from your partner. You think about the other person all the time.
Research from the past two decades shows that between 20 and 25 percent of married men cheat and between 10 and 15 percent of married women cheat, according to professor Nicholas Wolfinger.
Being in love with two people may be more common than some think. Studies show that many individuals worldwide identify as polyamorous, meaning they partake in relationships with or feel attracted to more than one individual at a time.
“You can absolutely fall in love with two people at the same time,” he says. “Walt Whitman was right — you contain multitudes. Someone might bring out your confident, sexy side and you'll love them for it. A second person might make you feel safe, loved and deeply connected, and you'll also fall for that person.
Some people are reasonably emotionally healthy and in a wonderful primary relationship, and they still choose to cheat. And this is true for both men and women.