You feel like the topic being discussed is just a small part of a much larger problem, which is overwhelming to talk about. You're afraid of opening Pandora's box. You are emotionally flooded. Your partner invalidates what you're saying.
Shutting down may be an automatic defense mechanism to protect oneself from further emotional distress. Trying to muscle your way through the emotional wave that hits you during conflict can prove to be ineffective, according to a study published in Practice Innovations.
This is a psychological phenomenon known as emotional numbness. It's something our mind does to help us cope when we're flooded with big emotions. Emotional numbing can have a significant impact on mental health, leading to feelings of detachment, apathy and a lack of interest in activities that once brought joy.
In most cases, the demanding partner feels abandoned and the silent partner feels afraid—their silence is a way to protect themselves from more pain. To resolve the issue, both partners need to take responsibility for their behavior and try to empathize with their partner.
By saying something, rather than withdrawing, you let your partner know that you are trying and that he/she matters to you. Even if you feel like it's not the “right” response, a relevant reply offers your partner reassurance and let's him/her know how much you care.
You tend to clam up
This is actually a primal defense response, Klow says. (Think of a deer in headlights, applied to human emotions.) Reacting this way indicates that you have an innate fear of conflict, Dr. Durvasula says.
Feeling ignored when you're in an emotionally charged moment can be frustrating. You're trying to work through an issue, but suddenly someone shuts down and goes unresponsive. This reaction is known as stonewalling. From the outside, it can feel like that person has shut down emotionally.
If someone displays unmanageable emotions and easily flies off the handle, this is a serious red flag. Responding with uncontrollable rage or the "silent treatment" could point to abusive (physical or emotional) behavior in the future, says Trombetti.
The silent treatment might be employed by passive personality types to avoid conflict and confrontation, while strong personality types use it to punish or control. Some people may not even consciously choose it at all.
The silent treatment is a manipulative tactic that can be used in order to control a situation or person. It is often used as a way to punish someone for something that they have done in order to get them to change their behaviour.
Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder that causes people to freeze up and turn silent in certain stressful situations — school is the most frequently reported one, as the disorder often pops up by age 5, when kids start attending preschool or kindergarten.
You may not have noticed it before, but here are the signs that someone might struggle with emotional shut-down: Refusing to talk about certain topics. Distracting themselves with other tasks. Leaving the situation and avoiding related parties.
During an argument, taking a moment of silence can allow both parties to calm down and collect their thoughts. This can prevent the situation from escalating and allow for a more productive conversation. Additionally, silence can be used to show empathy and understanding.
Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict. Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset.
By establishing boundaries, enforcing consequences if necessary, sharing emotions with others, and speaking up for yourself; you will take away their power, thus protecting yourself from the narcissist's silent treatment.
The narcissist suddenly stops responding to you or goes completely silent, refusing to engage in any communication. This can be either in person or virtually (“ghosting”). They ignore your attempts at communication and physical touch. This can be used as a way to punish you or avoid addressing uncomfortable topics.
Some individuals may engage in silent treatment to exert control, while internally feeling paralyzed in deciding whether to commit to the relationship or end it. And, with or without awareness, some individuals may resort to silent treatment in an effort to have a partner be the one to initiate the break.
The silent treatment is a harsh tactic. When you're on the receiving end of the silent treatment, you may feel powerless, disrespected, invisible, frustrated, or angry — or you may cycle through all of these emotions. “Many people feel powerless because we as humans are inherently social creatures.
Stonewalling is when a person in a relationship withdraws from an interaction, shuts down, and simply stops responding to their partner. Rather than confronting the issue, people who stonewall resort to evasive maneuvers.
You feel like the topic being discussed is just a small part of a much larger problem, which is overwhelming to talk about. You're afraid of opening Pandora's box. You are emotionally flooded. Your partner invalidates what you're saying.
Unintentional stonewalling: Sometimes stonewalling is a learned response that partners use to cope with difficult or emotional issues. People who stonewall may do so to avoid escalating a fight or to avoid discussing an uncomfortable topic. They also might be afraid of their partner's reaction.
However, when one partner shuts down or withdraws, he or she is defending against intense emotion. Withdrawing is a defense mechanism, and although defense mechanisms are necessary, universal, and human, when ignited, they render a person less capable of resolving conflict.