The reason you have no friends may be because you are shy, uncomfortable interacting with others, or simply don't go places that would lead to meeting new people. You don't have friends may have a lot to do with your mindset.
In general, having no friends is relatively normal. A February 2021 report found that 36% of Americans felt serious loneliness and a 2019 report showed that 1 in 5 people had no friends. If you have no friends, you are not alone. However, having no friends can lead to loneliness for some people.
There are a few reasons for feeling lonely even when surrounded by friends and family: You hide your true self. You have a history of being misunderstood or judged. Perhaps you feel insecure about certain aspects of your personality.
People who don't have friends might be referred to as shy, reticent, unsociable, or loners. In reality, there might be many reasons why people lack friends. Some may want more friends, while others are satisfied with few social connections.
Jessica Harrison, a licensed professional counselor and owner of Courageous Counseling and Consulting, says a lack of long-term friendships is a major red flag. "It shows that they have not been committed to growing in relationships, which takes time and effort on both friends' part," says Harrison.
Some people are naturally loners, as in they prefer to be by themselves some/most of the time. But if they're a loner because they dislike others or because others dislike them, it's likely that they're just unpleasant — and it could be a red flag.
People who are uncomfortable with others or prefer to be alone may have a hard time maintaining friendships. Personality issues such as being pushy, too talkative, or controlling can be off-putting to others. Talking to an objective third party such as a therapist can help reveal issues that interfere with friendships.
"Lacking encouragement from family or friends, those who are lonely may slide into unhealthy habits," Valtorta says. "In addition, loneliness has been found to raise levels of stress, impede sleep and, in turn, harm the body. Loneliness can also augment depression or anxiety."
When someone feels lonely they are more likely to try to distract themselves with the other things in their lives. So if your colleague is always talking about their stamp collection, or always flying away on exotic solo city breaks rather than spending weekends at home, they might be feeling alone.
Feeling left out may also be unpleasant because of how it's translated in the brain. Research shows that social rejection may be interpreted by the same regions of the brain responsible for processing physical pain.
Loneliness can often be a result of life changes or circumstances that include living alone, changing your living arrangements, having financial problems, or death of a loved one.
Some research suggests that loneliness can increase stress. It's also associated with an increased risk of certain mental health problems. For example, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and sleep problems.
There's no “right” number of friends you should have, but research says most people have between 3 and 5 close friends. Friendship is necessary, but it can feel challenging to find people who really “get” you. What's more, what you need from your friends might change as your life circumstances change.
A very common reason for this difficulty is that many people experience some degree of anxiety when meeting new people. This anxiety stems from a fear of being rejected or judged by others.
Reasons why you may be struggling to get along with people. You may have problems getting along with others if you are defensive, easily offended, or argumentative. Another reason could be that you're trying to relate to people on a practical or logical level when they're looking for empathy or vice versa.
A study done by Harvard found that 36% of Americans report “serious loneliness,” while our survey of 3,164 participants revealed that 33% of people have no close friends. If you've lost friends over the years, or never really connected with people around you, don't despair!
Sometimes, people struggle to make friends because of anxiety or extreme shyness. If this is the case, then you might have a social anxiety disorder preventing you from making social connections.
First, we have fewer close friends. According to the May 2021 American Perspectives Survey of over 2,000 adults, 12% of Americans report having no friends, up from under 3% in the 1990s.
She explains that 'pink' flags are “flags that can sometimes seem like a red flag until you actually get to know the person and reasons behind them. It's where something can feel like a big relationship concern and worry but after communication is actually ok”.
“Toxic friendships happen when one person is being emotionally harmed or used by another, making the relationship more of a burden than support,” says Suzanne Degges-White, author of Toxic Friendships. A bad friendship can increase your blood pressure, lower your immunity, and affect your mental health.