For many people who are holding onto someone who doesn't love them, they are doing so because they are scared. They are scared of how their person will react if they leave. They are scared of the words of anger, that they might hear. They are afraid things might get physical.
She says that there are "self-focused" reasons why people choose to remain in a relationship – because of the time, resources and emotions they've invested in it, or because they don't have good alternatives – but the research shows they also make "pro-social" altruistic decisions to stay because they feel their mates ...
One of the main causes of attachment is our resistance to change and fear of the unknown. Many times we cling to something simply because it is what we know and that feeling of familiarity gives us a certain security. That thing or person becomes the anchor that holds us, which makes us feel safe.
Romantic rejection stimulates parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward, addiction, and cravings. Being romantically rejected can be a familiar feeling that mirrors one's childhood, leading that person to seek out more of the same.
Because our difficult emotions are so hard to handle, we would think we wouldn't want to stay so closely attached to them, but for many of us, we develop a strong attachment to our fear and pain. We cling to them, afraid to release them.
You may have been single a long time for various reasons. Maybe you struggled with unresolved feelings after a difficult break-up, suffered from damaged self-esteem, or maybe you're simply too busy with work, friendships, and everything else that takes up time.
Personality characteristics and behaviors associated with the inability to let go include innate insecurity and childhood abandonment trauma. By understanding why this happens, many people can learn to choose better partners or become more resilient for when loss is inevitable.
What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or is refusing to communicate with another person.
Those who identify as aromantic may not feel love or a desire to participate in romantic relationships. It can be normal to identify as aromantic and isn't necessarily a sign of an underlying mental health problem. Aromantic individuals may or may not choose to have romantic relationships or close intimate connections.
Short Answer: Yes, it is possible to love someone but not want a relationship with him/her.
Love evokes fond feelings and actions toward the other person, particularly. Attachment is driven by how you feel about yourself with the degree of permanence and safety someone gives you, based on your past relationships. In other words, with love, your person is “the one” you have feelings for.
If you're in this position right now and are unsure if you want to continue the relationship, it's important to remember that relationships can go through many different phases. Just because you have lost feelings right now, doesn't mean that you can't ever get them back.
If you find yourself totally disinterested in what your partner thinks, feels, says or does, it's likely that loving feeling is gone. Arzt adds people who “only do the bare minimum” may be falling out of love. “They may oblige with date night, but they feel restless and bored,” she says.
Briefly describe what happened that felt hurtful or disrespectful. Say, “When I was talking, you (said or did this).” Don't go into a long story about what occurred or try to soften the blow by saying you know they didn't mean to be offensive. One sentence that describes your experience of their behavior is enough.
Trauma Bonding is when we are attracted to someone because they remind us of our past traumas. A good example of this would be if you have an ex who broke your heart, you might be attracted to people who remind you of that person.
Recognize the value of forgiveness and how it can improve your life. Identify what needs healing and who you want to forgive. Join a support group or see a counselor. Acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you, recognize how those emotions affect your behavior, and work to release them.
The answer is Dopamine. A drug like chemical that pulsates the body in search of pleasure. The dopamine-driven reward loop triggers a rush of euphoric drug-like highs when chasing a crush and the desire to experience them repeatedly.