You haven't released yourself from the relationship. There may have been some unresolved issue that caused the break-up or you're still grieving the relationship and you may feel that you never really got closure.
Sometimes, people are still thinking about their Ex for months, or even years after the relationship ended because of lingering insecurities or comparisons they're making — even subconsciously. This is often true when your Ex has moved on before you have.
If your ex is trying to contact you, or maybe even trying to speak to you at weird hours, then it might be a sign they still think about you. Another big sign is social media. If they somehow didn't get rid of you via an unfriending or straight block, it might mean they miss you.
If you're wondering how much time it'll take you to get over your ex, there's a widely accepted way to figure it out: divide the duration of your relationship by two. By that point, your friends and favorite women's magazines will tell you, you will be OK -- whatever that means.
You may be having these feelings due to something else, such as nostalgia. You may love the person you used to be, or love them for who they were. Other times, you have a personality that makes you obsessed. If you do want your ex back, and the feeling is mutual, then perhaps it's time to get back together.
“In many instances, people feel those love-like feelings for quite some time after a breakup. This can vary widely depending on the person, their circumstances and personal history. Some people may just need days or weeks whereas others may take months or years to move on from an ex.”
Put simply, one of the main reasons you're not letting go of a past relationship is because you're lonely right now, said Erika Ettin, a relationship coach and founder of A Little Nudge. "Rather than pining over someone who wasn't right for you, focus on yourself," she said.
You might simply be feeling the symptoms of depression or anxiety. This is totally normal and people regularly have struggles with their mental health when they're placed in a stressful situation. Having a relationship end is going to make you sad and it's going to take strength to get through things.
Exes may return in some cases. Since couples break up for various reasons, the circumstances of a breakup may impact the potential for reconnection. A recent study showed that 44% of Americans have gotten back together with one of their exes after breaking up with them.
Low self-esteem
“It's that fear that you're never going to find anybody again and it's a major fear,” Tebb says. “And it's scary getting back out there, especially if you've been in a long-term relationship.” And because people are comfortable with the familiar, it makes it all that much harder to let go.
While having the occasional thought about your ex is absolutely normal, it's important to pay attention to how these thoughts impact your life and your emotions and to know when it's time for concern.
Being in love creates disruptions in your brain chemistry that increase dopamine, the chemical responsible for making you feel euphorically good anytime you're around your ex. Your brain is hard-wired to enjoy the feeling of dopamine, so it releases even more every time you think about your partner.
Your ex probably won't miss you if your relationship was short (1-3 months), a rebound, or strewn with toxicity (i.e., cheating, lying, abuse). That said, walking away and letting them go still gives you the best chance of making them miss you. But here's the catch: your ex missing you doesn't really matter.
Reaching out to apologize to an ex for your hurtful actions can be really meaningful to them, as long as it's about making them feel validated and not just about clearing your own conscience. Sometimes it can also be helpful to let your ex know the ways they've hurt you.
Deeply connected couples can sense this phenomenon when they uplift each others' energies and overall feelings. In more intense situations, they might even be able to send physical sensations through their minds to tell their partner that they're thinking of them.
If you keep running into the same over person and over again, or your family and friends keep bringing them up in conversation, pay attention. The same goes for seeing their name in random places, or constantly hearing that one song that reminds you of them. These all may be soulmate signs from the universe.
We feel they love us even though they treat us badly. This contradiction is known as cognitive dissonance, where we believe two contradictory thoughts at the same time. As a result of the contradiction we can become more extreme in our thoughts and behaviours as we wrestle with the disconnect.
When looking at the timeline of breakups, many sites refer to a “study” that's actually a consumer poll a market research company conducted on behalf of Yelp. The poll's results suggest it takes an average of about 3.5 months to heal, while recovering after divorce might take closer to 1.5 years, if not longer.