One potential reason insecure people lash out at others is they are feeling shame and projecting it onto others. The insecure person may feel psychologically incompetent or threatened when exhibiting negative behaviors toward others.
They feel low and doubt their abilities. The only way insecure people can make themselves happy is by making others unhappy. Their insecurity serves as a defense mechanism that protects their ego. By bringing other people down, they can achieve psychological relief and raise their self-esteem.
Toxic people are often insecure people. They tend to make themselves feel or seem better than others by talking badly about them rather than taking concrete actions to develop their skills. Toxic people feel entitled to judge others, their actions, decisions, and lifestyles.
Some people do it because they are insecure or jealous. They are trying to feel better about themselves by putting you down. Some do it because they are trying to impress someone or get attention. For example, the coworker that criticizes your work in front of the supervisor.
There is no one cause of insecurity; many factors can lead to the condition. Insecurity may stem from a traumatic event, crisis such as divorce or bankruptcy, or a loss. It can also result from one's environment, as unpredictability or upset in daily life can cause anxiety and insecurity about ordinary, routine events.
Some people think of a “toxic relationship” as one that involves abuse, but it can be more subtle and less obvious. The underlying basis of any toxic relationship involves insecurity. Two common insecure relationship positions include what is referred as “Controllers” and “Dependents.”
Insecurity And Feeling Powerless
The truth is that insecurity doesn't always make an individual shy and reserved. It simply means they're not happy with themselves. When an individual feels this way, they may engage in bullying to bring others down to their perceived level.
A person who feels insecure may suffer from an inferiority complex, which makes them believe they will never be good enough to be loved or wanted. Others may exhibit controlling or manipulative behavior.
Insecure people often use criticism of others as a way to feel better about themselves. See, people who are insecure consistently feel bad about themselves. And often, they don't know how to feel better in a healthy or productive way. So they often resort to criticizing others.
Even in the modern world, anger is an emotional tool in an arsenal designed to protect us from real physical threats. More often however, anger is an expression designed to protect ourselves not from what's happening around us, but from what's happening inside us – from underlying fear, anxiety or insecurity.
In almost all cases, defensiveness is the result of emotional insecurity and fear. And when we feel insecure and don't know how to manage our fears—especially in the relationships where there's a lot at stake—we tend to fall back on primitive coping strategies like defensiveness to feel better.
If you have an insecure attachment style or deal with personal insecurity, this may lead to feeling envious of others or unfairly comparing yourself or your life to others. You don't have to stay stuck in cycles of jealousy and insecurity, or live with shame.
Expressing your anger negatively can damage relationships with your friends and family. Research confirms that behind passive aggressive and active aggressive behavior lies low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem will sometimes use anger when they feel like their opinions and feelings do not mean much.
The fear of being socially judged is one of the most common forms of insecurity. Some people feel self-conscious, anxious, and fearful when in front of others. It doesn't matter whether it's a group of colleagues or family members.
As mentioned before, subtly insecure people tend to seek validation and approval. And this leads them to talk a lot about themselves — without even realizing it. These are the people who focus almost any conversation on themselves.
People who are generally insecure in their relationships are more actively engaged on the social media site - frequently posting on walls, commenting, updating their status or "liking" something - in the hope of getting attention, researchers said.
Arrogance is rooted in insecurity — a defense from feelings of weakness that are unacceptable and unclaimed. An arrogant person generally has a skewed view of the world and a warped understanding of themselves.
People with insecurity often want to appear secure, and their explicit comments may be at odds with their automatic responses to certain stimuli. Deliberate self-misrepresentation or false behavior/information on social media can also be a sign of social anxiety.
Insecure attachment is an insidious form of being traumatized. In times like this where we have been restricted in terms of physical contact with others, there can be a connection between those restrictions and the many ways this is symbolic of being isolated and rejected as a child.
Narcissism is driven by insecurity, and not an inflated sense of self, finds a new study by a team of psychology researchers. Its research, which offers a more detailed understanding of this long-examined phenomenon, may also explain what motivates the self-focused nature of social media activity.