"Committing" means "growing up" to some guys. And a lot of us guys don't want to grow up, or we want to delay the process of growing up as long as possible. Commitment is a sign of maturity, and some guys are simply too immature to commit, especially in their twenties.
Many men realize that the value and beauty of being in a committed relationship is the love, trust and mutual support that a couple share. But some men find it hard to commit because they fear losing themselves and their freedom as the master of their own destiny.
“A man will commit when he feels a deep connection with a woman that he doesn't feel with anyone else; when he finds a lover who is also his best friend that makes him feel special and unique,” Tripp says.
If he tells you he doesn't want a commitment, first, believe him; second, thank him for his honesty. As hard as that is to hear, it's much better than to have him pretend to commit only to break your heart a few months later. Lastly, decide what you want.
'" As a rough rule, two months should be a safe amount of time to broach the subject. But every relationship is different, so if it feels right earlier, go for it. If it doesn't feel right at that stage, there are a few steps you can take to build yourself up for the conversation.
Well, for a man to commit and decide they want to marry their partner, it can take 172 days or 6 months, according to a study. However, in research done with 2,000 participants who are single and in a relationship, it was discovered that they have different opinions on how long it takes to commit.
Sexual Compatibility
Sexual compatibility is one of the top reasons a man chooses a woman over another. Many men prefer a woman that matches their sexual styles. These styles may include her moves, the way she kisses, the way she dresses, and so on. Understand that she might not even be as beautiful as you are.
It could be a red flag for many reasons when a guy acts like a boyfriend but doesn't want the title. He could be keeping his options open to date, other people. He could be using you for financial or sexual reasons. He could like the relationship but doesn't want to commit fully.
People who struggle to commit often have significant relationship anxiety. They may crave intimacy but can't handle intense feelings or fear borne of trauma childhood attachment issues, abandonment, abuse or infidelity.
Another common reason a guy might stop putting effort is he wants to take it slow. He is satisfied with you and your behavior. Considering his past relationships, he doesn't want to mess this up. This might make you feel, “he says he loves me but makes no effort.”
If you're wondering how to make him chase you, make send to him the message you have other plans or commitments that take priority, at least in the beginning. It also forces him to recognize your independence, and you're not just sitting by the phone waiting for his calls.
Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.
When he's falling in love, everything is likely to become about her. He can't stop thinking about her and would rather be spending time with her than doing anything else. He may feel scared about the relationship and where it's headed, or he might just have a comfortable feeling about the entire thing.
High value men want a person who passionate about something other than him. This passion attests to her healthy independence of spirit. A high value man wants a woman who will let him live his life, because she is a person with a life of her own. High value men like women with a healthy amount of self-confidence.
A partner who has commitment fears may have a hard time with this conversation. They might change the subject or give vague replies when you ask how they feel. They might say something like, “Let's just have fun without trying to define things.” They might flat-out say they aren't looking for a commitment.
He's insecure.
A guy who says he doesn't want a relationship but keeps you around anyway is a guy who is most likely insecure. A guy who is insecure has difficulty making clear decisions. He says he doesn't want to be in a relationship, but he then wavers, wondering if he's made the right choice.
If you're tired of waiting for him to realize how much he loves you and commit to you; if you're tired of having your life pass you by, then you should move on. What is this? Find someone who wants the same things you want. If you're looking for a serious relationship, then don't waste your time on him.
He fears commitment or loves his freedom more
Perhaps he feels the relationship has moved forward too fast. Or, he probably feels he is still young and does not want to settle down. Some men love the thrill of the chase and the new bonding as they find it more enticing, but they fear serious long-term relationships.