Fear of Abandonment So, when they start developing feelings for someone, the fear of abandonment weighs heavily on them. This reason is actually a protective instinct. In simple words, to protect themselves from getting hurt, men choose to pull away from a beautiful relationship.
He Is Afraid Of His Feelings For You
Maybe this is the first time he is experiencing such intense feelings for someone, and this scares him. He might be scared of the fact that he will disappoint you or doubtful if he is ready to commit. Being afraid of feelings and love is the number one reason men pull away.
Pulling away is something that many men do in romantic relationships. They fall, they feel, they get close, and then they run. They give up on love out of fear, despite their appearance of courage and bravery.
Fear of rejection
Running away from love almost always has a basis in fearing you will be rejected. That continuous worry leads to your running away from feelings, thus making your mate's needs unsatisfied and, therefore, ultimately ending the partnership. But it wasn't your mates doing; it was your own.
So when you triggered deep feelings within him, it may have caused him to start acting distant to you. Acting distant is a form of defense mechanism designed to protect himself. Don't panic though. If this is the case with your man, then you just need to work on building trust and making him comfortable.
Things You Should Know
Consider reasons his interest may have waned: maybe he's shy, maybe he's playing head games, or maybe he's just realized you're not compatible! Decide whether it's worth it to pursue him anyway. He might just need time—or he might just not be worth the trouble. Ask him directly what's going on.
“Usually, it's used to create distance,” Feuerman says. “It's a way to say, 'I'm not totally sure I am into your or not. ' Or, 'I'm not sure if we want the same thing here.” Either way, mixed signals can be used to slow down the pace of the relationship without actually talking about it. (Cue eyeroll.)
Some people can't help but push their partners away because of a fear of intimacy. Sometimes this is because they had a tough upbringing, and find it difficult to connect with people. Others may have been through trauma later on, such as an abusive relationship.
It begins when we label certain emotions as negative all because they don't make us feel good and are often times related to painful events in our past. It makes sense to want to disassociate ourselves from such emotional discomfort and instead rest in the temporary relief emotional avoidance brings.
Over time, men get really good at turning off their emotions or coping with their feelings in a way that is more acceptable for males. It creates a cycle of toxic masculinity, which can be hard to break once it's a habit.
Yes. A lot of men cannot deal with their emotions. The idea of love scares them and if they suddenly feel that they are overcome with emotions for a person, they will disappear and maintain distance rather than muster the courage to tell them about their feelings.
While the chemistry is sizzling, you haven't been able to connect with him emotionally. He doesn't speak to you about himself, his dreams, his background, or his past. The guy is a closed book as far as you are concerned. If these things define your relationship, it is a sign he is not serious about you.
Let him know that you understand that he isn't ready yet. Don't put pressure on him or try to make him fall in love with you. It's better if he comes up with his own decision. While he's taking his time, keep your cool and make sure to take care of yourself.
Minimize calls and texts.
Leave a lot of mystery in your relationship so you don't get too close to each other. Keep your emotional distance by only sharing a few things about yourself. Only talk about your hookups or date plans. If you're casually dating, only text them once or twice a week.
Some of the reasons might be because he had a bad experience in his previous relationship and is still unsure about his feelings, he has low self-esteem, or he might think that you are moving too fast and not serious about the relationship.
A man running away from you isn't necessarily a bad sign: Maybe he just wanted a fling, and since he didn't get what he wanted with you, he's looking for someone else. He realised that you were not compatible in terms of lifestyle or personality and he also has the right to change his mind.
When does a couple start falling out of love? Many scientists believe that the body chemistry that ignites a couple's sexual and emotional attraction usually lasts about two or three years but can start changing as soon as a few months after meeting.
Many people push others away because they fear intimacy or getting too close to another person and having to open up to them. For instance, you might push someone away when a relationship starts to get serious because you know you are about to reach a point where you have to be open and vulnerable with each other.
Leave him alone when he pulls away
A lot of it is related to fear of commitment, which could be stemming from past relationship trauma. If you believe that your guy is pulling away, give him that space to deal with his emotions.
Jesse Kahn, LCSW, the director and supervisor of The Gender & Sexuality Therapy Collective in New York, told Refinery 29 "when a relationship becomes more intimate, it becomes more vulnerable, and [people] can become more easily hurt." Basically, we pull away to protect ourselves from potentially getting hurt.
1 He acts hot and cold. 2 He texts you infrequently and sends short replies. 3 He doesn't follow up after a date.
Here are some other signs you're in a situationship: There's been no define-the-relationship (DTR) convo. You're doing girlfriend/boyfriend activities, but you've both stated it's casual. You haven't integrated into each other's lives meaningfully—you haven't met their family, friends, or colleagues.