Unintentional stonewalling: Sometimes stonewalling is a learned response that partners use to cope with difficult or emotional issues. People who stonewall may do so to avoid escalating a fight or to avoid discussing an uncomfortable topic. They also might be afraid of their partner's reaction.
Intense emotions, such as anger, frustration, or sadness, can become overpowering and make it challenging to engage constructively in the conversation. Shutting down may be an automatic defense mechanism to protect oneself from further emotional distress.
“In the face of physical or emotional pain, or a traumatic incident, our sympathetic nervous system has three responses: fight, flight or freeze. Emotional numbing is freezing. Our brain shuts down as a protective response to keep us safe when our nervous system is overloaded,” he says.
When your partner shuts down, they're usually not trying to hurt you or end the conversation; they're just trying to protect themselves from feeling overwhelmed. If you can remember this, it will be easier to respond in a way that helps to de-escalate the situation instead of making things worse.
Therefore, if your partner shuts down during arguments, it's a good idea to give them some time. Tell them “I understand how you feel. We can leave this for now and talk later because it's important that we approach the issue calmly”.
Stonewalling is when a person in a relationship withdraws from an interaction, shuts down, and simply stops responding to their partner. Rather than confronting the issue, people who stonewall resort to evasive maneuvers.
Many guys have trouble with anger. They are fearful of disrespecting and hurting the person they love. Silence is an attempt to protect them, and their partner from causing more damage. Yes, it's not logical, it's emotional!
Men pull away due to multiple reasons ranging from fears, insecurities, or anxieties to desperation or loss of love. It is crucial for you to figure out the reason behind his pulling away to protect your relationship. And probably the best way to deal with it is to give him space. Let him figure out his emotions.
Shutting down emotions can be a normal part of human experience, as a coping strategy in stressful situations. Under high stress, it allows your body and brain to protect itself from perceived threats or harm.
Unintentional stonewalling: Sometimes stonewalling is a learned response that partners use to cope with difficult or emotional issues. People who stonewall may do so to avoid escalating a fight or to avoid discussing an uncomfortable topic. They also might be afraid of their partner's reaction.
Stonewalling, one of the Four Horsemen, is Dr. John Gottman's term for one or both partners shutting down when feeling overwhelmed during conflict. Rather than confronting the issue, someone who is stonewalling will be unresponsive, making evasive maneuvers such as tuning out, turning away, or acting busy.
The silent treatment (also known as withholding) is used to punish and regain control of a person. It may feel good to ignore your partner when you feel slighted but, it keeps you from finding real solutions to the problems that are bugging you the most.
Testosterone, cortisol and adrenaline are all hormones that spike when you fight with someone, including your partner. When cortisol is released from stress, your body and mind yearns for closeness that only sex can provide.
When a man hurts a woman he loves, he feels emotions such as anger, guilt, frustration, self-loathe, fear, etc. Although he may not express his feelings confidently, a man will show signs he is sorry for hurting you or signs he knows he hurt you.
If you sense they're upset after a fight with you, they could be avoiding further conflict with you. The need to pull away may be driven by their anger, but it could also be due to their desire to cool off. Having space can help people regulate their emotions.
A study carried out in 2018 revealed an interesting response that men have to stress. According to this study, stressed men have diminished activity in brain regions responsible for understanding and processing others' feelings. As a result, they tend to get distant, irritable, and more annoying than usual.
The person using the silent treatment may abruptly leave the house and stay out, or completely ignore the other partner the rest of the night, knowing this would be upsetting. In some cases, the use of the silent treatment may last for days or weeks.
Silence can mean many things in interpersonal relationships. It's ambiguous. It can express lots of different emotions ranging from joy, happiness, grief, embarrassment to anger, denial, fear, withdrawal of acceptance or love. What it means depends on the context.
It's possible that he only wanted a temporary relationship.
As soon as you began dating, he may have already planned to eventually leave. If he felt like you expected too much, he might've wanted to leave right away. If you asked to define the relationship, he might've initiated a breakup to avoid a serious connection.
He may have grown up in an environment in which emotions are not discussed. He may feel like he's too busy, tired, or stressed to worry about his spouse's feelings. However, your mental health and the health of your relationship depend on each person being able to feel like they can address their emotions.
The narcissist suddenly stops responding to you or goes completely silent, refusing to engage in any communication. This can be either in person or virtually (“ghosting”). They ignore your attempts at communication and physical touch. This can be used as a way to punish you or avoid addressing uncomfortable topics.