Narcissists belittle others because they have their own insecurities, fears and flaws, and are afraid of having them exposed to others. In making hurtful comments to others, they reinforce their own feelings of importance and hide the low self-esteem and self-worth that may be lurking within.
In narcissistic individuals, the preponderance of their critical inner voices is directed at others and putting others down to make them feel better about themselves.
They will often act in a pretentious way in group settings, belittle others, and look to control conversations. While their self-concept is often an overinflated one, people with NPD typically have a fragile ego.
According to this view, narcissists insult others to feel better about themselves. They might be particularly likely to make disparaging comments when they're feeling threatened in some way, afraid their flaws will be exposed.
Deep-Seated Fear of Rejection / Being Unimportant – This is the core of narcissistic rage. Many narcissists are constantly hounded by the insecurity that people may not see them as the privileged, powerful, popular, or “special” individuals they make themselves to be, and react intensely when their fears are confirmed.
The tendency to make disparaging comments seems to be linked to the personality trait of narcissism. For example: People high on narcissistic tendencies see themselves as being more important than others and therefore deserving of better treatment, a quality called narcissistic entitlement.
The narcissist tries to ignore it, talk it out of existence, or belittle its importance. If this crude mechanism of cognitive dissonance fails, the narcissist resorts to denial and repression of the humiliating material. He "forgets" all about it, gets it out of his mind and, when reminded of it, denies it.
The following are examples of what belittling looks like: Yelling or screaming at you to get a reaction. Insulting you — calling you fat, ugly or stupid — or criticizing your parenting skills or intelligence. Ignoring how you feel, disregarding your opinion or failing to recognize your contributions.
A narcissist may react aggressively to criticism in an effort to avoid re-experiencing the loneliness they suffered in the past. In response to criticism, a narcissist may also take great pains to devalue or invalidate the person criticizing them.
Bore them with the “gray rock” treatment.
Narcissists only keep people around to use them or to entertain themselves. If you don't have anything to offer them, they'll get puzzled and leave you alone. Don't show any physical expression, respond in as few words as possible, and be as boring and unhelpful as you can be.
Overview. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others.
"You're a bad person." "Nobody else will ever love you." "I'm the best you'll ever have." "Have fun being alone for the rest of your life."
“It's not my fault, it's because of you/money/stress/work.” “If you wouldn't have done this, I wouldn't have done that.” “You knew what you were getting into; this is just the way that I am.”
Rejection, humiliation, and even the tiniest of defeats can shake them to their core. This leaves narcissists wholly focused on their image.
Narcissists fear and despise facing their shame so much so, that their way to survive is to project their own shame on to those around them.
When a narcissist gets humiliated they experience a narcissistic injury. This triggers their suppressed painful emotions and compromises their emotional stability. To stabilize themselves, narcissists could use narcissistic rage, self-victimization, and/or discarding to regain control of their painful emotions.
When a narcissist is exposed or when the narcissist knows you have figured him out, they will never admit the truth even if it is staring them in the face. A narcissist will lay several false accusations and try to make him right. They will say things you didn't utter and misinterpret all your intentions.
Causes of Narcissistic Rage
Need for power and control. Lacking empathy. A sense of entitlement. Being envious of others.