Why Do Narcissists Blame the Victim? Narcissists blame their victims for two reasons. First, because they want to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions. And second, because they want to control and manipulate their victims into thinking that they're always the ones doing something wrong.
By blaming the victim a narcissist avoids being held accountable and is free to carry on; while you, the real victim, feel guilty for spying, thus undercutting your justified anger.
Because narcissists' inner guiding voice is so critical and harsh, narcissists try to avoid all responsibility for anything that goes wrong. In order to avoid self-hatred, they project the blame onto someone else.
Both gaslighting and blame shifting are forms of emotional abuse where the narcissist maintains control by using their abusive tactics. By blame-shifting, the narcissist doesn't have to take responsibility for their actions. Blame shifting results in victim blaming.
"Narcissists are primed to be abusive because they're so hypersensitive, and they don't have empathy, and they don't have object constancy," Greenberg said. "So they are primed to take offence and be abusive and not really understand... It's a lot of work for the non-narcissistic mate."
They want to see how much they can destroy you
Narcissists thrive on chaos, so they do not act out of jealousy, as that would imply they want your relationships, career, wealth, or health for themselves. Rather, they just don't want to see other people happy.
If you can make someone afraid of you, then you have a far greater chance of manipulating them and controlling them, and that is why a narcissist will seek to destroy the sense of love within you and your ability to love rather than to live.
Unlike most people, narcissists do not engage in "should counterfactual thinking," the process of analyzing past mistakes and imagining what should have been done to avoid them. Instead, they assume that any mistakes were unavoidable because they don't believe they could have been at fault.
Silent Treatment Narcissists punish by ignoring. Then they let their victim off the hook by demanding an apology even though she isnt to blame. This is to modify her behavior. They also have a history of cutting others out of their life permanently over small things.
The real reason why simply confronting a narcissist and calling them out for their behavior won't work is simple: they're not actually listening to you. If they truly are a narcissist, they have never been listening, and are especially unlikely to take any criticism or feedback on board.
MD. A person with narcissistic personality or narcissistic traits frequently uses manipulation tactics to influence and control others. Common examples of this include gaslighting, triangulation, love bombing, and many others.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
In narcissists' efforts to avoid blame, they often combine several fake apologies at once, such as, “I am sorry if I said anything to offend you, but I have strong opinions. Maybe you're too sensitive,” or, “I guess I should tell you I am sorry. But you know I would never deliberately hurt you.
For the person on the receiving end, someone experiencing a narcissistic collapse may look out of control, extremely angry, and vindictive. In some cases, it may look like someone withdrawing altogether and giving them the silent treatment.
Generally, narcissists are very frugal with their money and defensive with it. When it comes to their possessions, they don't give them freely. There is, however, more to this greed than self-preservation. Due to their lack of empathy, narcissists may not understand the benefits of sharing their resources.
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
"You're a bad person." "Nobody else will ever love you." "I'm the best you'll ever have." "Have fun being alone for the rest of your life."
Summary: For most people, narcissism wanes as they age. A new study reports the magnitude of the decline of narcissistic traits is tied to specific career and personal relationship choices. However, this is not true for everyone.