One of the reasons they do this is to appear superior, as if they are experts. Moreover, they are quick to falsely and malevolently criticize others, often actual experts, to create an illusion that they know what they are talking about.
Narcissists love to critique, criticize, and complain about every facet of other's lives, and it is nonstop! Many targets of narcissists will be extremely sensitive to critiques and criticisms even after leaving the abusive relationship, due to the trauma of constantly having been criticized.
A narcissist often overreacts because he or she cannot sit with any negative feeling longer than a second or two. Instead, they push their thoughts out and project them onto a targeted person. The result is you feel uncomfortable and upset being on the receiving end of one of their tirades.
“I Can Accept How You Feel”
Don't fight a narcissist when you disagree with them because you won't convince them or change their mind. Simply saying that you accept their opinion or how they feel without fighting back cuts off their supply.
The narcissist lacks empathy and is incapable of understanding that you might feel happy. All they are focused on is ensuring you know how bad they feel. To feel better about themselves, the narcissist must always complain through identification of other's shortcomings. This way the focus is on everyone else but them.
They are particularly sensitive to perceived negative attacks because they live in a pseudo-reality or delusional state about themselves in relation to others. They may genuinely believe they are superior to others, so when positive reactions come their way they may take them for granted.
Studies show that the tendency to make cruel remarks is a personality trait of narcissists, because they: See themselves as superior and more important than everyone else, and therefore more deserving.
React with empathy and respect.
A narcissist thrives on conflict, and will take control of the conversation as soon as you get defensive or try to fight back. Instead, you can take control by making empathetic statements about the situation, which will help the narcissist calm down.
To the narcissist, their gaslighting has worked and they can keep the upper hand. If you know the narcissist has insulted you, it is best to ignore them most times because they aren't open to discussions on how you feel or what they could do differently.
According to Julie L. Hall, author of “The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free,” narcissists become more extreme versions of their worst selves as they age, which includes becoming more desperate, deluded, paranoid, angry, abusive, and isolated.
The most effective weapon to fend off narcissists is self-love. When you love yourself, it is more difficult for the narcissist to manipulate you and get under your skin. It will hurt them to know that you do not need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.
Narcissistic rage occurs when a narcissist's beliefs about their perceived importance or grandiosity are confronted. In turn, they respond with extreme anger toward the perceived threat. Whether narcissistic rage results from criticism, losing control, or minor setbacks, being on the receiving end can be terrifying.
The reason youve found yourself the target of narcissistic hatred is that they view love as a weakness and consequently, it repulses them. But, at the same time, it allows them to extract copious amounts of narcissistic supply. This is why they seem to hate you but wont let you go easily.
Attention Seeking Narcissists love attention when it is on them. Narcissists are acutely aware that they lack in self-esteem, but aren't motivated enough to work on themselves to improve it. They are plagued with insecurities; from their looks, their professional success, (or lack of it), to their relationship history.
One of the reasons they do this is to appear superior, as if they are experts. Moreover, they are quick to falsely and malevolently criticize others, often actual experts, to create an illusion that they know what they are talking about.
Does ignoring a narcissist work? First of all, narcissists hate being ignored, so ignoring them may be the best form of revenge. But, it should not be your primary motivation. The most essential thing here is to be mature enough to let go of toxic individuals in your life, no matter how difficult it is.
In narcissists' efforts to avoid blame, they often combine several fake apologies at once, such as, “I am sorry if I said anything to offend you, but I have strong opinions. Maybe you're too sensitive,” or, “I guess I should tell you I am sorry. But you know I would never deliberately hurt you.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
According to this view, narcissists insult others to feel better about themselves. They might be particularly likely to make disparaging comments when they're feeling threatened in some way, afraid their flaws will be exposed.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.