Touch is an important component of many social experiences for many people. Autistic children commonly avoid social touch more than non-autistic peers. It is generally thought that this is due to autistic individuals experiencing hyper- or hyposensitivity of touch.
For instance, some children with ASD may appear disinterested when engaged in play or in response to affection from loved ones while others may have an overly affectionate child with autism. Individuals with autism can also have an aversion to touch.
Physical touch can present complications for an autistic person. They may abhor all types of physical interaction, they may crave certain kinds of physical contact, or different intensities in certain situations. Knowing your loved one is key.
How Does Autism Affect Intimacy in Sexual Relationships? Intimacy is the sharing of emotional, cognitive, and physical aspects of oneself with those of another individual. People with autism often have problems with rigidity and the need for repetition, which may limit the spontaneity and playfulness of sexual contact.
A child or an adult with ASD may not seek the same depth and frequency of expressions of love through acts of affection, or realize that an expression of affection is expected in a particular situation and would be enjoyed by the other person.
The partner with Asperger's syndrome may also not know what to do, or may choose to do nothing, because of a fear of doing something that could make the situation worse. Partners have reported problems with sexual knowledge and intimacy.
Love and affection may be felt but expressed differently
They may show love, for example, through a practical act, and tidy up for you, or iron your shirt, rather than through a more neurotypical way of looking at you and telling you or using physical affection.
Some kids on the spectrum feel a constant need for affection because they are not sure when or if the attention will be available. Schedule 5 to 10 minutes every day when you can provide your youngster with undivided attention (i.e., no computer, T.V., cell phones, etc.).
They may avoid interactions or eye contact or even resist parental attention, hugs, or cuddling. There has been more research into the reasoning behind this, but many times it results in people with autism being defensive against touch.
While this is not typically what you think of with tender, romantic love, it may cause a person with ASD discomfort if someone were to kiss them or hold their hand gently. For example, one teenager with autism who didn't like kissing at all, described that he felt it was just like smashing faces together.
Some autistic people might like more 'obvious' forms of flirting like grand gestures, crafting things for someone or writing letters.
People with autism may get easily attached to people, leading them to become over-friendly. It can be difficult to understand other people's perceptions of situations, therefore what they feel is appropriate, may be considered as socially unacceptable.
People with autism often experience love differently from neurotypical people. Their expression of love is less straightforward, as they tend to rely heavily on non-verbal communication.
Strong reactions to touch are remarkably widespread among people who have autism, despite the condition's famed heterogeneity. "The touch thing is as close to universal as they come," says Gavin Bollard, an autistic blogger who lives in Australia and writes about his and his autistic sons' experiences.
Haphephobia (haf-uh-FOE-bee-uh) is an intense, overwhelming fear of being touched. Many people don't like being touched by strangers. But haphephobia is significant distress over being touched by anyone, even family or friends. For some people, the fear is specific to touch by people of one gender.
Individuals with ASD seem to have more hypersexual and paraphilic fantasies and behaviors than general-population studies suggest. However, this inconsistency is mainly driven by the observations for male participants with ASD.
Stephen Shore, EdD (special education professor, author, and Autism self-advocate) famously said, “If you've met one person with Autism, you've met one person with Autism.” Simply put, everyone is different! Since the Autism spectrum is so diverse, you can't say that everyone with Autism does or does not like hugs.
Sensory sensitivity and affection
It is important that family members and friends recognize an aspect of autism that will affect the ability to enjoy and express affection, and that is hyper- or hypo-reactivity to sensory experiences.
While many people with autism may appear to lack empathy and sympathy, it is not the case for all people with autism. For those who struggle with displaying appropriate empathetic responses, the reasons may relate more to social communication issues than a lack of underlying emotional response.
Social-Emotional Reciprocity
On the other hand, some people with autism might overshare and might not know when to let the other person have a turn to talk. People with autism might also struggle to share what they are thinking or feeling with other people.
Many people with autism crave intimacy and love. But, they don't know how to achieve it in a romantic relationship. They can feel blind to everyday subtle social cues from their partner. This can cause conflict and hurt feelings.
Research has found that autistic people are equally interested in romantic relationships as neurotypical people. They just tend to have a slightly harder time knowing how to navigate dating and interpreting social cues, particularly at the start of the relationship.