This can actually be a result of them liking you a lot. It's possible that he is feeling scared by his own emotions and doesn't know how to handle them. He'll be “hot” because he does want to move things forward with you, but then he'll pull back and go “cold” because the feelings are too intense for him.
What is the psychology behind blowing hot and cold?
The person who blows hot and cold thrives on control and equates feeling out of control with desire. They value what they don't have and 'newness', so you're on borrowed time.
Why does a guy act interested one day and not the next?
Things You Should Know
Consider reasons his interest may have waned: maybe he's shy, maybe he's playing head games, or maybe he's just realized you're not compatible! Decide whether it's worth it to pursue him anyway. He might just need time—or he might just not be worth the trouble. Ask him directly what's going on.
In a recent clip, Benjamin discussed dating situations in which one partner blows 'hot and cold'. By this, he means showing varying levels of interest, sometimes being very engaged and interested, and at other times, not showing any interest.
The Ultimate Reason Men Are Hot And Cold (LADIES MUST WATCH THIS TO PREPARE THEMSELVES!)
32 related questions found
Why do guys give mixed signals?
“Usually, it's used to create distance,” Feuerman says. “It's a way to say, 'I'm not totally sure I am into your or not. ' Or, 'I'm not sure if we want the same thing here.” Either way, mixed signals can be used to slow down the pace of the relationship without actually talking about it. (Cue eyeroll.)
Some people may act in a 'hot and cold' manner out of insecurity, fear of commitment, or as a manipulative tactic to keep the other person interested. It should be treated as a relationship deal breaker. Hot and Cold emotional treatment can become part of a pattern of toxic red flags such as Negging or Ghosting.
When a guy acts interested, then backs off, the reason has less likely to do with you and more to do with him. His past experiences could be coming in the way of your romantic dreams. Maybe, he has been abused, cheated on, or deeply hurt by a partner before, and thus, has his guards high up.
Hot and cold behaviour does not always indicate abuse, but it can indicate someone who has been subjected to abuse. That being said, this form of destructive behaviour has to be addressed and not allowed to progress, as it can have calamitous effects on both parties.
A healthy relationship is where both partners have enough time and space for themselves. Hence, if you are struggling to figure out ways to keep your man interested, remember this golden rule – give him and yourself space, and allow him to feel your absence.
'Hot' visceral states are when our mental state is influenced by hunger, sexual desire, fear, exhaustion, or other strong emotions. A 'cold' mental state is one that is not being influenced by emotion and is usually more rational and logical.
A hot-cold empathy gap is a cognitive bias in which people underestimate the influences of visceral drives on their own attitudes, preferences, and behaviors. It is a type of empathy gap. The most important aspect of this idea is that human understanding is "state-dependent".
Why do guys come on strong and then pull away? They might feel overwhelmed by the intensity of your feelings, or are afraid of commitment. They might even think that you two are no longer compatible or have started seeing someone else.
Sometimes it has nothing to do with the relationship or you. He is just stressed – it could be work, or maybe he is having some personal issues with his family, friends or health. Sometimes, pulling away is a form of defense mechanism. His past bad experiences can make him afraid of going through heartache again.
Some people often use the terms “warm” or “cold” to describe how someone's personality comes across in social settings. While a warm person may be engaging, gregarious, and welcoming, a cold personality might instead come across as reserved, aloof, and emotionally distant.
