Kids just expect more from their mother. You are their number one nurturer, feeder, comforter and carer. Dads might be doing 50 per cent or more of the parenting, it doesn't matter. This is a biological instinct that babies crave their mother's attention.
Turns out a lot of it has to do with her age. Experts say it's typical for toddlers to make the parent who's with them the most their main target for bad behavior.
Here's how it works: A baby who cries upon seeing her parent after a long separation is expressing his secure attachment to his parent.
This can be really difficult for both parents. But it's important to remember that it's completely normal. There's nothing wrong with your baby, and there's nothing wrong with dad if it takes days, weeks or even months for them to build a connection.
As your baby develops with smiles, laughter and babbling, a true two-way relationship starts to develop. It can take on average six months to reach this point but it will happen . The bond most dads have with their six-month-old baby is fundamentally different to the one they had immediately after birth .
If a child feels comfortable actively rejecting one parent, that means she's securely attached, Dr. Heard-Garris said. That may sound counterintuitive, but if a child were unsure of a parent's love, she would cling to any scrap of affection, Dr. Heard-Garris said.
Child development experts say it's to be expected that in a time of crisis or anxiety, a young child might show a preference for one parent. They're “hunkering down in their comfort zone,” said Tovah Klein, director of the Barnard College Center for Toddler Development.
Most babies naturally prefer the parent who's their primary caregiver, the person they count on to meet their most basic and essential needs. This is especially true after 6 months when separation anxiety starts to set in.
With moms, children feel like they can let go and express how they feel, because they believe that their mom will make it better. This is what then leads to more whining. So while your child may feel more comfortable whining around you, know that that also means they feel safest around you.
Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.
People sometimes call it Disneyland Dad Syndrome. This refers to a time when Mom typically got full custody of the kids. Dad, on the other hand, just had weekends and vacations. Therefore, time with Dad was the “fun time.”
This is a biological instinct that babies crave their mother's attention. When they see you, they expect you to immediately pay attention to them. Even if you're holding them and trying to comfort them, they may still cry.
Fear of strangers is very common. It happens as your baby develops a healthy attachment to familiar people – like you. Because babies prefer familiar adults, they might react to strangers by crying or fussing, going very quiet, looking fearful or hiding.
If baby starts crying, soothe him for a minute or two after the parents leave. If baby is still crying after the parents have been gone for a few minutes, try and distract baby with a toy, blanket, pacifier, singing a song or playing a game like peek-a-boo.
He might be going through developmental changes that surface as separation anxiety. Don't discourage him from feeling upset or make him feel guilty if he shuns dad. This is simply how he feels, and shouldn't be punished for them.
Children can't be too attached, they can only be not deeply attached. Attachment is meant to make our kids dependent on us so that we can lead them. It is our invitation for relationship that frees them to stop looking for love and to start focusing on growing.
“Most babies develop a preference for their mother within 2 to 4 months of age.
It's not typical for a baby to reject its mother unless the mother neglects to care for the baby. In this situation, your baby could develop a condition known as Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). But, sometimes, it might seem like your baby doesn't like you because of how you interpret their behaviors.
"It's fairly common for little kids to have a preference for a particular parent," says child clinical psychologist Dr Erinn Hawkins. "The relationship between a child and an attachment figure — a person to whom they become connected — forms very early on in life and becomes a selective thing."
Most importantly, remember that it's totally normal for the breastfed baby to only want mom – and not to feel too discouraged if baby screams and cries in dad's arms. Remember that this is only temporary!
Bonding often takes time. As long as you take care of your baby's basic needs and cuddle her regularly, she won't suffer if you don't feel a strong bond at first sight. Some dads feel bonded to their baby within the first few minutes or days of birth, but it may take a little longer – that's perfectly normal.
When do babies recognize their father or mother? Babies can recognize their parents pretty early actually – as young as 4 days old. By making eye contact with your baby during feeding times, cuddle sessions and throughout the day, you're helping your child memorize your face and learn to trust you.
Studies have found that about 20% of new moms and dads feel no real emotional attachment to their newborn in the hours after delivery. Sometimes, it takes weeks or even months to feel that attachment. If you haven't begun bonding with your baby, don't feel anxious or guilty -- it should come with time.