It's possible your husband may be afraid of conflict, or he's avoiding the topic because he knows it will be hard. Maybe he thinks he'll lose control and yell at you. Or maybe he just doesn't want to deal with it. Whatever the reason, he's trying to avoid the conversation by pretending to misunderstand.
The reasons can be numerous. Mostly it is dissatisfaction with life and high expectations that have not been met. The fact that your wife questions everything can be a sign that she is too much of a perfectionist. And you know that perfectionists know how to make a scene for every little thing, let alone something big.
Your husband or partner may turn everything around on you because he feels insecure. It may not seem like it but many blame-shifters often have low self-esteem. So, to feel better about himself, your husband puts you down and makes you feel like you're not good enough.
Your critical husband or wife may be stressed or dealing with some uncomfortable emotions, and criticizing you helps to distract them from how they are feeling. In some cases, being overly critical may have just become a habit or a learned way of communicating with others.
By constantly belittling and correcting you, he is trying to assert control and shake your confidence in yourself. A husband who pouts and makes you feel bad when you tell him he's making you miserable is a poor life partner. He may be insecure, overbearing or have OCD. Or he could be a potential abuser.
He is no longer affectionate with you, physically or verbally. He no longer makes sweet or romantic gestures toward you. He doesn't say "I love you" anymore. He still says "I love you," but something about it feels hollow or forced, like he's just going through the motions.
9 reasons your partner or spouse blames you for everything.
They're emotionally abusive when they always blame you. They want to protect themselves. They're insecure, have low self-esteem and admitting to being wrong is too scary for them. They want to defend themselves.
Verbal abuse is a form of emotional abuse where someone uses their words to invoke fear in another person and gain control over them. 1 Types of verbal abuse include name-calling, criticizing, gaslighting, and threatening.
Let your spouse know that when you think you're being nitpicked, you won't overreact but you will say "enough" and leave the room. Hopefully, after you've done this a few times, your spouse will start to notice their nitpicking behavior. If the nitpicking continues, marriage counseling may be the best option.
Defensiveness is a behavior wherein one of the spouses is anxious about facing criticism or they tend to be overly protective of themselves. Most husbands or wives who are defensive do so in response to a threat (whether there is an actual one or it's something based on their perception alone).
A spouse may be unintentionally trying to control you, or they may just have unhealthy relationship patterns that result in gaslighting behaviors. Intentional or not, gaslighting is a destructive form of emotional abuse. It can have devastating long-term effects on one's self-esteem, relationships, and mental health.
In a discussion or argument, the listener withdraws from the interaction, shutting down and closing themselves off from the speaker because they are feeling overwhelmed or physiologically flooded. Metaphorically speaking, they build a wall between them and their partner.
They turn the story around to make it seem like you are at fault, deflecting attention and blame away from them to make you feel guilty. This type of emotional manipulation is called gaslighting. [clickToTweet tweet=”“Am I going crazy? Am I being too sensitive?
Gaslighting spouses turn the tables and blame you for their poor behavior. They distort the narrative to make you appear to be the one mistreating them. For example, if you work overtime, you neglect them and do not want to spend time with them.
This often happens when someone with social anxiety is forced to be around a large group of people. This frustration may later come out as nitpicking every little thing. A few other reasons why someone may nitpick are low self-esteem, a superiority complex, and even a history of being constantly criticized as a child.
What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or is refusing to communicate with another person.
Demeaning behavior in a relationship can involve ignoring your feelings and shutting you out. When someone stonewalls you, they refuse to answer you and might even walk away in mid-conversation.
Examples include intimidation, coercion, ridiculing, harassment, treating an adult like a child, isolating an adult from family, friends, or regular activity, use of silence to control behavior, and yelling or swearing which results in mental distress. Signs of emotional abuse.
Mental abuse is gaslighting, silence, manipulation, and victimization. Verbal abuse is screaming, bullying, name calling, berating, and blaming. Sexual abuse is jealous rages, coercion, sexual withdraw, rape, and degrading acts.
He Feels Insecure
Feelings of insecurity can cause your husband to lash out at you. He might feel that he is not good enough for you or that he is not providing enough for the family. These feelings can build up within him and make him vent through you.
We make the same mistakes because that is how our brain works – that is unless we get training to change it. Over our lifetime, we develop many brain patterns. Brain patterns form when we experience something many times or when something marked us deeply like a traumatic event.