Common triggers for therapist tears are grief and loss or trauma, says Blume-Marcovici. Therapists who have suffered recent losses or major life stresses may return to work too soon — and then may find themselves crying when counseling patients who have had similar experiences.
And that means, from time to time, your therapist might get misty-eyed when you share feelings or recount difficult experiences. Whether or not you've personally witnessed a therapist cry, it's a fairly common occurrence.
Therapists also recognize that crying is not always a sign of distress but can also be cathartic and lead to personal growth. For example, some people may cry when they come to terms with difficult life experiences or when they achieve something meaningful that was previously out of reach.
Finally, in sadness or despair crying, clients acknowledge that they cannot avoid loss, and through the crying actually come to accept the loss. Such crying in therapy allows clients to experience their grief with the therapist and tacitly invites the therapist to comfort the crying client and show compassion.
One is where the therapy has been long-term and growthful and the therapist feels sadness, even grief, at the ending because the therapist has developed affection, even love toward the client. In some ways, psychotherapy is one of the most intimate relationship a therapist can have.
Due to the emotionally demanding nature of their work, especially in recent times, therapists and counselors often find themselves burned out. It's crucial to take stock of your own needs and practice self care to help manage stress and prevent burnout.
Therapists do get frustrated with clients from time to time, but some can handle difficult clients better than others. This may be due to training or inherent personality traits.
A therapist can hug a client if they think it may be productive to the treatment. A therapist initiating a hug in therapy depends on your therapist's ethics, values, and assessment of whether an individual client feels it will help them.
She thinks of you between sessions
This process involves reminding yourself of and practicing new skills, continuing to answer open-ended questions, and noting new thoughts to bring to session next week. Your therapist's relationship with you exists between sessions, even if you don't communicate with each other.
The connected therapist feels what the client is feeling. However, there is always a part of the therapist that is calm and detached, observing those emotions, and objectively using that information to guide the session.
Some therapists establish stronger bonds and connections with particular clients than others. For example, a therapist may be drawn to people with complex trauma histories and enjoy working with them. Others, on the other hand, may relate more to the circumstances of some clients than others.
Many times what takes place in therapy occurs behind closed doors and the counselor's grief does too. It is for this reason many counselors mourn alone. A client's death can occur through natural causes, illness, suicide, murder, or an accident.
In conclusion, crying in therapy can be a powerful and transformative experience. Whether it's a release of pent-up emotions, a sign of progress in identifying and processing difficult feelings, or an expression of feeling seen and heard by one's therapist, tears can be a valuable part of the therapeutic process.
Am I starting to feel better? Believe it or not, one of the most obvious signs that therapy is helping is that you start to feel better. Results won't happen overnight, but over time you should gradually start to feel some relief. However, remember growth isn't linear—it's a tangled mess of lines.
Psychologists are predisposed to burnout as their profession requires them to constantly put others needs before their own. In fact, research published in Professional Psychology shows that therapists are highly reluctant when it comes to seeking out professional help even though they know its benefits the best.
There aren't official guidelines about this for therapists.
You might be wondering if your former therapist would even be allowed to be your friend, given how ethically rigorous the mental health field is. The answer is technically yes, but it's generally inadvisable.
Can I become friends with my therapist after therapy? Going by the ACA and APA codes, the same rules apply to former patients as to current ones. Social interactions between therapists and patients are only allowed if they're potentially beneficial to the patients.
“It totally makes sense for a person to be asking questions of someone with whom they're going to be sharing their intimate self.” The short answer to the question is: Yes. If you have a question, you should ask. Your questions are valid and likely relevant to the therapeutic process.
While not common, a friendship can develop when you've finished therapy. There are no official rules or ethical guidelines from either the American Psychological Associated or American Psychiatric Association regarding friendships with former clients.
The distance between the therapist and the patient should ideally be a comfortable one for engaging in conversation—not too close nor too far. I suggest around six feet. The therapist should avoid an arrangement wherein he is sitting completely across the room from the patient at a distance of 10 or 12 feet.
The general idea is that, unconsciously, emotional feelings that you may have had or wished you could have had as a child are transferred from your parents or other caretaker to your therapist. So clients often have feelings for their therapists that are like the ones that children have towards their parents.
But despite the warning that crying in front of a client is potentially damaging, research shows, well, the contrary. One study found that 72 percent of therapists have cried in session, suggesting that tears are the norm rather than the exception.
Typically, therapists point to sessions where the client is uncooperative or abusive as the most challenging. “Therapists dread when clients don't talk or when they expect the clinician to have the answers without information to work with,” Bonafede said. That dread can be internal, too.
Sometimes the therapy session is the only space a client has available to sit in silence, feel accepted unconditionally, and just be. We can provide that unconditional positive regard for those clients. Silence is not failure for the therapist. In fact, it can sometimes be the biggest sign of success.