Because discomfort does not mean you or your partner is doing something wrong. It's the nature of human life and human relationship. Life is uncomfortable. In fact, every phase of a relationship has its own special flavor of discomfort.
It's totally normal to have times when you feel more or less in love with your partner. At the same time, it's painful to have stillnesses in a relationship that leave you feeling lost or doubting its future. You may still "love" your partner, and you may still want it to work with them.
Whether it stems from lack of trust, fear of abandonment, questioning your compatibility or worrying about non-reciprocated feelings, most people experience some form of unease about the future of their partnership.
Lack of trust may lead to feeling distant from your partner, especially if you previously had trust for them and lost confidence in them. Losing trust could come from not abiding by agreed rules for the relationship, such as infidelity, or it could be that your partner has suddenly been less open than you.
Besides no longer getting excited to spend time together, you may find yourself flat-out avoiding your partner. You may stay late at work, see movies or eat dinner by yourself, or even take the long way home to avoid being with your partner for a moment longer than you have to.
If you feel empty even when your partner is very present in your life, that could indicate a deeper issue. You might suspect that this relationship isn't a good fit for you or experience self-doubt. It's important not to jump to conclusions. As mentioned above, depression is one common cause of feelings of emptiness.
Feeling Unappreciated: Maybe you're feeling a little unappreciated in your relationship, like your partner is taking you for granted, and this is why you are not happy. They seem to always rely on you when they need something, but they don't seem to recognize or thank you for your efforts.
It's normal for couples to feel some level of disconnect from time to time. It is important to acknowledge the disconnect and talk about it. Connecting more deeply with one's spouse can be as simple as dedicating more time to doing fun things with each other.
With a comfortable love, you'll feel safety and trust no matter what. If you're in a relationship for the sake of comfort, you'll feel uncomfortable whenever you're not with them, out of lack of trust in them or the relationship. Realize what love feels like, and don't mistake it for anything else.
You're in the right relationship if you feel your partner is there for you when you need support, and that the relationship is overall a great addition to your life. In short, it's adding value to the joy you experience in life. Conflict in a relationship is inevitable and normal.
Moving into this space too fast and being unwelcome is a sure way to make a girl feel uncomfortable. Especially early on, avoid standing too close, putting your face near hers, or touching sensitive areas such as the face. Bad touches feel uncomfortable, but welcome touches associate you with positive emotions.
What causes disconnection in relationships? A few different things may cause a disconnect in a relationship. You could have been growing apart for some time, don't have the time to spend with each other like you used to or one or both of you might have stopped putting in the effort you used to.
Characteristics of Healthy Relationships
You feel comfortable expressing your opinions and concerns to your partner. Your feel physically safe and your partner doesn't force you to have sex or to do things that make you feel uncomfortable.
Stonewalling is when a person in a relationship withdraws from an interaction, shuts down, and simply stops responding to their partner. Rather than confronting the issue, people who stonewall resort to evasive maneuvers.
But if your thoughts about your partner have become predominantly negative, this can signify a shift in your relationship. "If you take it even further and find that you are speaking negatively about your partner to others or constantly complaining about them, chances are you are falling out of love," says Mitchell.
EXCESS OR LACK OF PROXIMITY
At the same time, at the end of the spectrum, lack of proximity can also cause you to be cold towards your partner. Not spending just the right amount of time to know your partner better and yourself better each day can cause emotional distance.
Signs of emotional unavailability include fear of intimacy, trouble expressing emotions, and commitment anxiety. “It's not something you can fix for them, nor is it something they can quickly and easily change about themselves for you,” Jernigan says.
Relationship anxiety describes feelings of insecurity, worry, and doubt regarding your relationship or compatibility with a partner. Relationship anxiety may stem from attachment difficulties in early childhood, emotional neglect, or from general anxiety that manifests as worry in your relationships.
What Causes Separation Anxiety in Relationships? The primary reason a person may struggle with separation anxiety in relationships is if they were given inconsistent love as a child. This can cause an unhealthy attachment style to their primary caregiver that will often be carried into adulthood.