It turns out that the balance of empathy may be connected with how narcissistic one's personality is. While more narcissistic people can be entertaining and often great fun to spend time with, their inability to pay attention to other people's needs can make it feel lonely to be around them even when we're not alone.
A Marriage with a Narcissist or with a Person with Borderline Personality Disorder is Lonely. You will never feel as lonely as when you are married to someone with narcissism or borderline personality disorder. This is because their psychopathology and personality disorder make it impossible for him to be there for you ...
Narcissists Will Eventually End Up Friendless and Unpopular, Study Confirms. Scientists have found that narcissistic people fail to retain their friends despite being initially popular.
Because in a narcissistic relationship we have taken on so many of the other person's struggles and so much of their identity as our own, we may feel like we'd be giving up part of ourselves if we were to leave them. If they have become the center of our world, we may then feel lost without them.
We tend to feel special when we feel loved. The problem for narcissists, though, is that they don't trust that they are really loved. Most of them have never felt loved in their lives, and so they doubt that they can actually be loved.”
The narcissist, then, is dependent on the other. He needs the other's submission to keep feeling powerful over and over. In a sense – despite how self-assured and independent he may seem – the narcissist cannot exist alone. He needs a victim to feel like he exists.
Narcissistic partners usually have difficulty really loving someone else, because they don't truly love themselves. They are so focused on themselves that they cannot really “see” their partner as a separate person. They tend to only see the partner in terms of how they fill their needs (or fail to fill their needs).
If a narcissist is interested in you, you might notice that they shower you with admiration and attention shortly after you meet them. They might be quick to say “I love you,” put you on a pedestal, and make grand romantic gestures.
There are four types of people who narcissists tend to be attracted to, according to Arluck: People who are impressive in some way, either in their career, hobbies and talents, their friendship circles, or family. Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures.
Dealing with a person with narcissism can be difficult because they often don't want to see you happy. It can lead to arguments, aggressive outbursts, and shaming. The person might also play the victim and try to convince you that you were wrong.
Empaths are drawn to narcissists, and narcissists love taking advantage: "Since narcissists rely on exclusive focus and attention, an empathic person would naturally appeal to them," explains Dorfman.
Narcissists are deserving of love too
Everyone born into this reality is deserving of love, security, and affection. The narcissist is not exempt from that; however, their disorder can make it difficult for them to have healthy relationships.
Any public embarrassment of a narcissist can cause them to unleash further anger, rage, attacks, unethical comportment, and incivility. Even in light of factual evidence to the contrary, a narcissist who fails will lie more profusely and adamantly.
Additionally, if it wasn't their decision to leave, they cannot tolerate rejection. Due to their underlying shame and insecurity, they find it humiliating. Rather than accept you “quit,” they go on the offense and “fire” you.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
In general, it may involve intense emotional reactions and a tendency toward vindictive behaviors, but it could also lead to depression and withdrawal. Narcissistic collapse isn't a permanent occurrence once it happens. Typically, the emotional pain will decrease and the person may return to feeling their usual.
Deciding to end a relationship or marriage is never easy. It can be especially difficult if you have a partner with narcissistic personality disorder.
So yes, narcissists can miss you in the sense that they feel bad when an emotional need isn't being met when you're not around and thus they want you back in their life. They need someone to boost their ego and make them feel good about themselves.
It is a complicated mental illness centering on an individual's inflated sense of self-importance accompanied by a lack of empathy for other people. While this is an intimidating definition, narcissistic individuals can and do fall in love and commit to romantic involvements.
Living with a narcissist may feel difficult, but it's possible to preserve your well-being with strong boundaries, a solid support network, and a therapist who's informed on narcissism. You may also find it useful to attend a National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) family support group in your area.
Here are some narcissism red flags to look out for: Lacking empathy. They seem unable or unwilling to have empathy for others, and they appear to have no desire for emotional intimacy. Unrealistic sense of entitlement.