A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance. 1 It's important to understand that these reasons arise within the cheater and are not the responsibility of the betrayed partner.
Infidelity is associated with: previous cheating; relationship boredom, dissatisfaction, and duration; expectations of imminent break-ups; and low-frequency, poor-quality partner sex. Among men, risk also increases when partners are pregnant or there are infants in the house.
Here's what we do know about the prevalence of cheating. A 2021 survey by Health Testing Centers polled 441 people and reported: a little over 46% of respondents in a monogamous relationship said they had affairs. nearly 24% of marriages affected by infidelity reported staying together.
However, infidelity rates among women are on the rise – having increased by 40% in the last 20 years. Data from married adults ages 18 to 29 says that women are slightly more guilty of infidelity. In adults 30 years and older, though – men are always more likely to cheat.
According to the General Social Survey, men are more likely to cheat than women, with 20% of men and 13% of women reporting having sex with someone other than their partner while still married. However, the gender gap varies per age.
According to the Institute for Family Studies, “men are more likely than women to cheat: 20% of men and 13% of women reported that they've had sex with someone other than their spouse while married, according to data from the recent General Social Survey.”
People who cheat are likely impulsive and destructive at decision making. Instead of thinking about you and what happens to the relationship after cheating, they go based on what they want right now. Impulsiveness can be seen in other areas of the relationship, too. So keep an eye out.
Takeaway. There are many potential reasons why a person may cheat. There are eight key reasons and motivations for affairs, including low self-esteem, anger, low commitment, lack of love, neglect, sexual desire, need for variety, and circumstances.
Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety have been linked to infidelity. A person may also experience relationship anxiety, which often results in a person feeling more insecure about themselves. It can also induce doubt towards one's partner, and excessive worry that one will be cheated on again.
Some people cheat because they have unrealistic expectations about what their partner and primary relationship can (and should) provide. They may think their partner should meet every need and desire they have, which is an impossible standard.
In this new study, 45 percent of individuals who reported cheating on their partner in the first relationship reported also doing so in the second. Among those who had not cheated in the first, far fewer (18 percent) cheated in the second.
Cheating happens when there is a combination of dysfunctional behaviors, such as lying, substance abuse, delusions or mania, and struggles within a relationship. While cheating isn't a justifiable coping method, it does become a mechanism for dealing with pain when no other avenues seem available.
Between one in four to five Americans have an affair in their lifetime. Among men, 68% feel guilty after having an affair. Even if they haven't confessed the affair, most cheating husbands will feel guilty and express that guilt in their behavior.
“Couples do and can stay together after an affair, but it takes a lot of work to repair broken trust.” Klow says most couples don't recover when one cheats but “those that do can emerge stronger from having gone through the process of recovering from the affair.” It takes time, however.
Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them. In fact, many affairs happen in relationships that are otherwise very happy.
If a partner cheats, does that mean they were never in love? No, cheating doesn't mean your love wasn't real. We have this idea that something has to be wrong with a relationship for cheating to occur. In reality, happy people in fulfilling relationships go out and cheat all the time.
Marin understood the pain that cheating could cause but warned against generalizing those who have been unfaithful. "People who cheat, they're not terrible, evil, horrible people. There are plenty of really great, wonderful people who cheat, as well," added Marin.
Being insecure
Another reason why someone might cheat is because they are insecure. "Usually, in this scenario, the partner that wants to cheat is seeking out confirmation of their desirability," Winter told INSIDER. "And they use the reinforcement of a new person to bolster their own self-confidence."
A person may also try to control or manipulate you, which is toxic behavior. When a partner is constantly cheating: If an intimate partner lies and cheats without even trying to change their behavior, it adds a toxic element to the relationship.
Cheating can destroy a marriage, shatter your ability to trust future partners, hurt your kids, and even lead to depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The vast majority of adults agree that it's wrong, but anywhere from 39 to 52% of us may experience infidelity at some point in our lives.
Research from the past two decades shows that between 20 and 25 percent of married men cheat and between 10 and 15 percent of married women cheat, according to professor Nicholas Wolfinger.
Cheating on a spouse or significant other is sure to cause feelings of jealousy and hurt in the spurned partner. But men and women differ on what part of cheating they think is the worst: Men tend to be more bothered by sexual infidelity, while most women are bothered more by emotional infidelity.
Not all people with narcissistic personality traits are unfaithful in their relationships, but narcissism may naturally make cheating more likely. Serial cheating, having multiple partners, and increasing cruelty are all narcissist cheating patterns to be aware of.
Research shows that betrayed partners, after learning that their significant other has strayed, typically experience stress, anxiety, and depressive symptoms characteristic of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).