Since many INFJs tend to be closed off, withdrawn, and very reserved and therefore come across as not interested or shy, they typically remain single for a long time and are not the type of person to approach someone they feel attracted to unless they have solid social skills, are well developed, and stop living so ...
These introverts are hopeless romantics who tend to fall in love easily, but they also struggle to make the first move, flirt and show love once they're in a relationship. Because of their unique and rare personality type, INFJs tend to struggle in relationships, but that doesn't have to be the case.
Relationships can be overwhelming for the sensitive INFJ. After all, we tune into other people's emotions and sometimes struggle to sort our complex feelings out. Yet, as intense as INFJ relationships can be, these personalities usually seek long-term commitment from a partner, not a casual fling.
INFJs should also take time with the process. INFJs tend to fall hard and fast in love and have incredibly high expectations. They also have difficulty finding people that are right for them because they are introverts and don't strive to meet new people or socialize.
This is one of the main reasons why INFJs are still single. As an INFJ, you are always striving to find someone who can connect with you mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually to a very intimate degree (Granneman, 2019).
Although there are exceptions to this rule, INFJs aren't usually the types who go for flings, one-night stands, or meaningless sexual romps. They are looking for someone who will stick with them through the good and bad and who will want a deeper and more purposeful relationship.
INFJs preferring Quality Time and/or Words of Affirmation is also supported by a survey conducted by Heidi Priebe. According to Priebe's survey, 35.67% of INFJs list “Quality Time” as their preferred love language.
INFJs are most likely to marry someone who shares their values and vision for the future, regardless of their personality type. INFJs are more likely to marry someone who values emotional depth and intimacy and is dedicated to personal growth and development.
As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others. Extraverted Feeling is their auxiliary function, which means INFJs try to connect in a gentle way, and appreciate those who can do the same. Most INFJs also strive to make a positive impact on the world.
When I surveyed INFJs about their flirting styles, more than anything, they expressed a deep desire to connect emotionally with someone they liked. They will be more emotionally open, express more of their deeper longings, and become more vulnerable with you if they like you.
Don't ever pressure an INFJ to engage in social interactions. Introverts often struggle to be understood, since far too many extroverts don't understand what it's like to want alone time. If you're dating an INFJ, don't pressure them to spend more time with friends or increase their social circle.
True vulnerability may be challenging at first, so INFJs need partners who can be patient until trust is built in the relationship. The feelings of those closest to them, including romantic partners, are like an open book to INFJs and they tend to assume that others can see into their hearts just as easily.
INFJs look for a long term relationship, most INFJs don't do one night stands or short term relationships. The dating scene now, is more or less for appearance sake which isn't genuine to the INFJ. So the INFJ might wait for a serious relationship while their friends jump into relationships around them.
INFJ: Try not to overthink it
It also doesn't do the INFJ any service when they ask their dates to elaborate on small comments or actions that meant nothing. Instead, you should listen to your strong iNtuitive nature and avoid involving your date in your overthinking process unless there's a good reason for it.
At their best, INFJs make modest, reliable teammates, and allow others to take the lead. INFJs may undervalue their own needs, ideas, and contributions, acting overly shy and not taking credit when due. At their worst, INFJs can be excessively submissive, ineffectual, and too dependent on direction from others.
I always feel awkward around them if they're not my friend. I will avoid them at all costs but at the same time wish I had actually talked to them. If we do get to talk, I'm going to be fighting a battle inside about what to say. I normally end up saying weird and random things I always regret.
Considering INFJ from the Myers-Briggs list of personalities perspective, the generally accepted ideal match is the ENTP personality. In addition, ENFP is also a great match as it can inspire and stimulate INFJs, while ENFJ can support the humanist function of INFJs'.
Technically it is supposed to be an ENTP or ENFP. I would also consider INFP having seen the two interact. Since INFJ has introverted intuition as their dominant function they are most compatible with other intuitives: NT and NF.
The best matches for INFJs include intuitive types such as INTJ, INFP, and ENFJ. INFJs are the least compatible with sensors, especially ESTJs, ESTPs, and ESFPs. INFJ-INFJ relationships can be emotionally fulfilling yet difficult if both INFJs aren't willing to openly discuss relationship problems.
INFJs can be attentive, helpful partners who know how to make others feel better. They are passionate about positive improvement and can help their partners work to achieve their goals. INFJs care deeply about their partner and are often willing to make important sacrifices to grow in their relationship.
You attract an INFJ by listening to them; without trying to come up with solutions. Although advice can be very helpful at times, sometimes, listening intently really helps more. LIstening helps validate the emotions of people and show how attentive and aware you are. But also that you're present.
They love surrendering to the connection between two people when all the distance falls away and they each express themselves openly and without censorship. And they love sharing their endless warmth and sensitivity with their soulmate. As has often been observed, there's no one more loving than an INFJ in love.
Scoring as an INFJ means that your personality type is best described as Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging. Sometimes referred to as the "Advocate" or the "Idealist," people with this personality type often feel misunderstood.