They crave deep mental and emotional connections with others; proximity or just a few shared interests won't cut it. This is especially true when it comes to love and dating. As a result, INFJs can really struggle to find Mr. or Mrs.
This is one of the main reasons why INFJs are still single. As an INFJ, you are always striving to find someone who can connect with you mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually to a very intimate degree (Granneman, 2019).
As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others. Extraverted Feeling is their auxiliary function, which means INFJs try to connect in a gentle way, and appreciate those who can do the same. Most INFJs also strive to make a positive impact on the world.
Why do INFJs always find themselves alone when they really need someone? The main problem is that the loop of overthinking, anxiety, introversion brings more issues than it solves. An INFJ in trouble is an overthinking, anxious, self isolating wreck.
INFJ relationships are filled with fantasies about how the relationship should. This is why an INFJ girlfriend may spend a lot of her time thinking about the person she loves, trying to bring her idealism to reality.
Relationships can be overwhelming for the sensitive INFJ. After all, we tune into other people's emotions and sometimes struggle to sort our complex feelings out. Yet, as intense as INFJ relationships can be, these personalities usually seek long-term commitment from a partner, not a casual fling.
So, high standards aren't the only reason INFJs might still be single. This next one has to do with their introverted nature. Frankly, a lot of us INFJs wait for other people to make the first move.
INFJs don't like to open up to others right away. We need time to feel comfortable with someone and feel that connection before we start to share our innermost thoughts and feelings, so we can appear somewhat aloof or cold to strangers who don't realise we're just waiting for someone to ask.
INFJs preferring Quality Time and/or Words of Affirmation is also supported by a survey conducted by Heidi Priebe. According to Priebe's survey, 35.67% of INFJs list “Quality Time” as their preferred love language.
An INFJ might flirt by asking someone to listen to a song that might help convey feelings the INFJ can't verbalize. We flirt by being awkward. Do we spend a lot of time around them and try to catch a quick glimpse, and then turn away? We flirt with time.
I always feel awkward around them if they're not my friend. I will avoid them at all costs but at the same time wish I had actually talked to them. If we do get to talk, I'm going to be fighting a battle inside about what to say. I normally end up saying weird and random things I always regret.
So, INFJs speak the love language of quality time. As the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type, INFJs are frequently misunderstood and thrive when someone finally “gets” them. Use quality time to dive deep into their inner world, making it about them, not you.
Although there are exceptions to this rule, INFJs aren't usually the types who go for flings, one-night stands, or meaningless sexual romps. They are looking for someone who will stick with them through the good and bad and who will want a deeper and more purposeful relationship.
True vulnerability may be challenging at first, so INFJs need partners who can be patient until trust is built in the relationship. The feelings of those closest to them, including romantic partners, are like an open book to INFJs and they tend to assume that others can see into their hearts just as easily.
In the world of personality theory, the INTP and INFJ pairing has been nicknamed “The Golden Pair” because these two types can be highly compatible.
INFJs are the type most likely to experience marital dissatisfaction. This is often due to a lack of connection and intimacy within a relationship, as INFJs tend to have deep emotional needs; both connection and intimacy are vital to an INFJ's sense of wellbeing.
INFJs are so concerned with maintaining harmony and improving the moods and emotions of others, that they can leave their own emotions and feelings untended. As a result, they can wind up feeling overloaded with other people's feelings and lost and alone when managing their own.
At just 1.5% of the US population, INFJs can be hard to find. Some of us will go our entire lives without running into one! But if you're bound and determined to encounter this, the rare blue diamond of personality types, here are some ways to increase your chances.
INFP is the type most commonly mistaken for INFJ, and they use Ne as their co-pilot process. If Signs 1 and 5 are both sound true for you there's a very good chance you're an INFP.
The rarest personality type for women
Just 1% of women type as INTJ and ENTJ respectively. Among women, INFJ is only the third rarest personality type with approximately 2% of women categorized as INFJ. Both INTJ women and ENTJ women are extremely rare in the general population.
The best matches for INFJs include intuitive types such as INTJ, INFP, and ENFJ. INFJs are the least compatible with sensors, especially ESTJs, ESTPs, and ESFPs. INFJ-INFJ relationships can be emotionally fulfilling yet difficult if both INFJs aren't willing to openly discuss relationship problems.
Technically it is supposed to be an ENTP or ENFP. I would also consider INFP having seen the two interact. Since INFJ has introverted intuition as their dominant function they are most compatible with other intuitives: NT and NF.