According to a British Psychotherapist, Philip Hodson, men often find it more difficult to forgive a cheating partner, because it affects their masculinity, and to them, it might signal the end of the relationship.
Despite experiencing the different types of infidelity differently, men and women are about equally willing to forgive their partner. And the new findings show that the degree of forgiveness is not related to the type of infidelity. What is this? “We're surprised that the differences between the sexes weren't greater.
Cheating + forgiveness doesn't = happiness.
Sometimes you never get over it. As much as you've tried to forgive, you can't shake the pain caused by their indiscretion. For some people, no amount of forgiveness will reverse what has happened.
In order to do so, you must have open communication with your partner or spouse regarding the reasons for infidelity and if both are willing to commit to making the relationship work in the future. Be open and honest about what your needs are and be vocal about the time and effort you will take to see things through.
There's no definitive answer as to whether you should forgive someone who has cheated. It's up to you to make that decision. While forgiveness can be a strength, you might ask yourself if you want to take a risk on someone once the trust has been broken. It's not wrong to do.
It's important she's honest with you about any contact she has with the other person. If she's lying and keeping secrets, you won't be able to trust her again. Much of the pain that often accompanies an affair stems from the dishonesty that happened. So it's essential that she is willing to be open and transparent now.
Ultimately, there is no set formula for whether you should stay together or not. You and your partner will need to decide both individually and together if there are enough positive elements in your relationship to make the difficult work of healing worthwhile.
Seek Counseling
Don't try to get through coping with unfaithfulness alone. Before you make any decisions about whether or not to end your marriage, it's wise to talk to a couple's counselor, who will be neutral and can help you gain insight into what exactly happened.
Cheaters can change because cheating is rooted in a series of thinking and behavior patterns. Anyone who studies psychology or self-help knows that people can change. In fact, if you've ever done something wrong and then stopped doing that thing, your own personal experience proves that change is possible.
If you really love her, then let what has happened go, and focus on the good things you have still got together. Wrench your mind away from the images that are haunting you and show your wife you trust her by staying away from her mobile phone. You have to put this behind you if you want your marriage to have a future.
The way people feel about cheating on a spouse or partner can vary. Some feel really bad and truly regret it, others not as much. But no matter how much guilt or remorse a cheating person expresses outwardly, they all feel it inwardly to some extent.
We are all wired differently, and we process emotional pain in a different way. For some people, they might need a few weeks to forgive a cheating spouse, and everything returns to normal. On the other hand, the issue of taking back a cheating spouse could span as long as several months running to years.
Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety have been linked to infidelity. A person may also experience relationship anxiety, which often results in a person feeling more insecure about themselves. It can also induce doubt towards one's partner, and excessive worry that one will be cheated on again.
If you feel you can rebuild the trust in your marriage and have a healthy relationship, it's worth a shot. But don't stay together just because you're scared to get divorced. This will only delay the inevitable. If you're going to get divorced eventually anyway, it is better to do it sooner rather than later.
A Rough Timeline. People need to understand that it takes at least two years for the shock waves of the infidelity to subside. That doesn't mean it's all bad for two years. In fact, couples may find they're doing better than ever during that period, but, at any given moment, reminders and triggers can still occur.
“Couples do and can stay together after an affair, but it takes a lot of work to repair broken trust.” Klow says most couples don't recover when one cheats but “those that do can emerge stronger from having gone through the process of recovering from the affair.” It takes time, however.
When a man learns that his woman has been cheating, he gets mixed emotions. He's angry, sad, jealous, frustrated, and he may not know to whom to express his feelings.
Does the pain of infidelity ever go away? Although cheating can have a lasting effect on your mental health, it's possible to heal after infidelity, says Babita Spinelli, a psychotherapist licensed in New York, New Jersey, and Florida. Spinelli offers couples coaching for partners recovering after infidelity.
Right now, learning that it takes an average of 2 to 5 years to get over the pain of infidelity may seem impossible. How could you ever get over such a betrayal? Yes, recovering from such a blow is going to take a long time, but there are actions, such as therapy, that can facilitate recovery and save your marriage.
An affair means you have little respect for your partner — so little, in fact, that you're happy to be indiscreet with someone else without your partner's knowledge. If you have so little respect for another human being, why are you in a long-term relationship with them?