Boys learn in a different way to girls It was also found that boys like to switch between activities. This may mean they focus on potty training for a few minutes and then switch to something else, like playing with a toy, in order to learn. The amount of space boys use can also be different.
LaRowe has found girls are often ready to train earlier. Boys, she notes, “have to learn to stand and sit.” Plus, they often generally mature later than girls. Other experts suggest that boys start training by sitting since standing to urinate is a more advanced skill.
Most children complete potty training by 36 months. The average length it takes kids to learn the process is about six months. Girls learn faster, usually completing toilet training two to three months before boys do.
Toilet training may come up during children's 18-month, 2-year, 2½-year, and 3-year well-child visits. The average age toilet training begins in the United States is between 2 and 3 years of age. Most children in the United States are bowel and bladder trained by 4 years of age.
"When you force potty training with a child who is not physically, mentally, and emotionally ready, a parent can easily create anxieties, power struggles, shame, and a strain on the parent/child relationship," says Irene Balint-Wemer, a mom herself and also my child's teacher.
Late potty training is when your child is over 3 years of age, shows no signs of developmental delays, and is still not toilet trained after six months of training.
They're Not Ready
Some children are not developmentally ready to learn yet, while others resist attempts to learn as a means of control. Difficulty potty training may also be caused by a medical issue, such as chronic constipation.
“Refusal” implies stubborn, willful, unreasonable behavior. But let me offer a more evidence-based explanation: Children who resist using the toilet are either not developmentally ready for toilet training or are chronically constipated.
In fact, refusal is the biggest challenge facing parents who potty train. Does it mean you shouldn't do it (NO!). The truth is, refusal happens because most children start in the toddler years when this way of being is a la mode. Toddlerhood is the breeding ground of refusal, but don't let this put you off.
There are many different reasons why your little one may be experiencing potty training anxiety. Maybe it's an irrational fear about being flushed down the toilet, or the flushing noise it makes is just too loud. Or perhaps they feel anxious about using a bathroom in an unfamiliar place, like anywhere but home.
The American Association of Pediatrics reports that kids who begin potty training at 18 months are generally not fully trained until age 4, while kids who begin training at age 2 are generally fully trained by age 3. Many kids will not master bowel movements on the toilet until well into their fourth year.
Training Obstacles
The reasons often are behavioral. A child might be fearful of anything from falling into the toilet to losing a part of themselves (yes, some children can be possessive of their bodily secretions). It's possible a child might feel some embarrassment about going to the bathroom.
Shy kids will need some time to get used the idea of potty training before they actually try it. High-energy kids are always on the move—slowing down to use the potty will seems like an interruption into their play time. Be ready with extra incentives and lots of fun and games to hold their interest while potty ...
Create a plan for consistency. A common strategy is taking your child to the potty every 30 or 60 minutes for the first couple of days. If that goes well, try to extend the periods between tries.
Visual cues and prompts can be a good option for autistic children. You could try creating a visual support or schedule to show your child the steps in using the toilet. You could use the Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS) or other visual aids.
Many professionals recommend skipping pull-ups for daytime potty training. Instead, go straight to underwear so your baby understands how it feels when they pee. Pull-ups have similar absorbency to diapers, so it may confuse your child to have pull-ups on during potty training.
Don't Force the Issue
If you suspect your child may not be ready, it's advisable to give them a few more weeks or months before trying again. If your child refuses to go, forcing them to go and sit on the potty will likely create a negatively charged atmosphere and can ultimately lead to more resistance.
Common potty training problems include anxiety, refusal to use the potty, and attempts to delay or avoid defecation. In addition, it's common for kids to have daytime accidents and wet the bed. Children may also feel reluctant to use toilet facilities when they are away from home.
The best way to potty train a stubborn boy is by using positive reinforcement and staying calm. Make sure that your child feels comfortable when he is on the potty, use different methods of potty training if they work better for him, and set aside time each day dedicated to practicing with the potty.