You may think that you'd never end up in an abusive relationship, so you convince yourself the narcissist isn't so bad. The state of confusion, combined with the fact that you may be emotionally exhausted from the cycle of abuse, makes it extremely hard to break up with a narcissist.
Fear of being alone – Narcissists are skilled at destroying their partner's social circles and relationships with family members. The prospect of leaving may equate to a feeling of being truly alone; Fear of reprisals – The narcissist may have created a culture of fear and anxiety in their partner's life.
A narcissist can make us feel needed.
They may feel like if their self-image gets one crack in it, it may all come crumbling down. Because of this, we may feel very guilty to leave a narcissist.
They are likely to give you the fight of your life because they're not done with you yet. Narcissists hate losing their supply of attention, so they won't let you go easily. Prepare for them to promise "to change." They might suddenly start doing things for you that you'd been complaining about.
Narcissists can fight exclusively with only their own needs and demands in mind. Punishing you for leaving them and/or filing for divorce may be at the top of their agenda, and making life harder for you in any way possible services their need for vengeance.
The most effective weapon to fend off a narcissist is self-love. Narcissists do not want to feel like you don't need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.
Finding out you want a divorce can also make a narcissist feel like they have failed, which could cause them to lash out. They will likely retaliate by trying to belittle you, expose your flaws, and show the court why you “were never good enough” for them.
At the end of a relationship, a narcissist will often spiral down a long-winded gauntlet of manipulation tactics. They may blame you for causing the relationship to fail, work hard to keep you to stay with them, make lofty promises to change their behavior, or badmouth you to everyone around them.
After separation, it's common for a person healing from narcissistic abuse to experience complicated grief or complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD). Unlike a “normal” process of mourning, complicated grief often involves a mix of emotions including anger, guilt, longing, and sadness.
Do narcissists regret discarding or losing someone? It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value.
Therefore the narcissist seems to move on so fast because their emotions are not as deep as ours but also, they don't form memories in the same way the rest of us do. For most of us it's the memories which keep us attached to someone and unable to move on. The narcissist doesn't have this problem.
Why a narcissist won't leave you alone after your relationship ends, according to a psychologist. If you end a relationship with a narcissist and cut off all contact, they may view it as a blow to their self-esteem. As a result, they may ignore your no-contact boundary and try to make you feel guilty.
Our memories of the love we shared with the narcissist are not only mental, but also physical. Our body remembers how it felt to be near the narcissist. We long to be close to him or her again because it was exactly what we believed we needed; it felt like what we needed; it was what we needed.
It could be that you're repeating patterns from your past or are looking for a need—however self-destructive—to be met. If you're always ending up at the same point, there's something in you which is taking you to that point over and over again. You experienced narcissistic abuse as a child.
Dont analyze why or berate yourself for, just let yourself feel your pain and treat yourself kindly as you face the emptiness that enters your life when the narcissist and all his/her chaos leaves. At the same time, remind yourself that there will eventually be an end to your suffering.
Mental Breakdowns
A narcissist may have a breakdown if their supply is cut off and they feel vulnerable, embarrassed, or out of control.
People with high levels of narcissistic admiration experienced less anxiety and sadness after a breakup and maintained positive perceptions of their exes. They were also more likely to initiate a breakup and attribute it to their lack of interest in their ex.
Narcissists may still think about you after they have discarded you, but probably not in a positive light. They may tell people how “crazy” or “abusive” you were and only think about all the reasons why they had to discard you.
They Will Experience a Narcissistic Injury and Go Into a Narcissistic Rage. If a narcissist were to realize that they no longer have control over you, it could cause them to experience a narcissistic injury and fly into a narcissistic rage.
But here is the rub: Over time, the narcissist usually senses that you are pulling away, and it is then that your problems take on a different form. Narcissists hate feeling that they might be rejected or that you might conclude that they are defective. So, they go into compensation mode by turning the tables.
Behind the facade, however, narcissistic individuals often have a fragile self-esteem that is likely to crack under any pressure. The narcissist's need to defend his or her fragile sense of self can be especially acute during the divorce process, where each spouse's conduct is likely to be scrutinized and questioned.
For most of us it's the memories which keep us attached to someone and unable to move on. The narcissist doesn't have this problem. Their brain hasn't stored those memories in the same way so they can quickly move on without the attachment.