Letting go is hard because it means that you need to free yourself from some aspects of your past. Things that have become a part of yourself – of what makes you who you are today. Most people understand this as getting rid of that “thing” resulting in a change in who you are.
Loss comes in many forms, not just death. And every loss comes with a certain level of grief. Letting go of someone you love also isn't just about that person. It also signifies a big change in your life, and maybe even your identity.
It means you've decided to stop dwelling on the past and will focus on the future instead. You can either hold onto your pain or make the conscious decision to live your life without it. For more information about the pain of letting go and how to deal with it, contact Healthwise Behavioral Health & Wellness.
Most people can't let go of the past because they don't appreciate their present. Reframing our relationship with our past requires us to stop thinking of how things should be and accept them for what they are. As Dalai Lama said, "Attachment is the origin, the root of suffering; hence it is the cause of suffering."
Personality characteristics and behaviors associated with the inability to let go include innate insecurity and childhood abandonment trauma. By understanding why this happens, many people can learn to choose better partners or become more resilient for when loss is inevitable.
While it may feel impossible and certainly takes time to stop loving someone, it's absolutely possible to do just that. In fact, you may find that in no longer loving this person you open yourself up to the possibility of loving others — and even yourself.
Someone may have difficulty moving on if a part of them is holding onto hope that they will get back together with their ex. When grieving the loss of a relationship, we often assume that avoiding painful emotions will bring us relief when the opposite is true.
There are significant psychological benefits of letting go. When we let go of painful emotions and focus on the present moment this regulates our feelings more effectively. There is considerable evidence that mindfulness practice improves both mental and physical health.
One of the key signs your relationship is ending is that you are no longer vulnerable and open with your partner. A cornerstone of happy, healthy relationships is that both partners feel comfortable being truly open to sharing thoughts and opinions with one another.
"It can take anywhere from six weeks to three months to forever, depending on how intense the relationship was, how invested you were in each other, and how heartbroken you are," says Jane Greer, PhD, New York-based marriage and family therapist and author of What About Me? (Those three factors all sort of piggyback on ...
Emotional detachment can occur in relationships as well. Periods of disconnect are common in relationships and usually resolve once both partners are in a place to reconnect.
When looking at the timeline of breakups, many sites refer to a “study” that's actually a consumer poll a market research company conducted on behalf of Yelp. The poll's results suggest it takes an average of about 3.5 months to heal, while recovering after divorce might take closer to 1.5 years, if not longer.
1. Accept Yourself Unconditionally. It might feel counterintuitive, but the first step in letting go of anything is to accept where you are right now. Telling yourself, “Oh, I'll accept myself when I'm 10 pounds lighter” isn't going to help you release a negative pattern.
So, if you are wondering if your ex will come back if you let them go, the answer is that it's likely. From our experience and research, there is a lot of truth in Albert Schweitzer's popular quote, “If you love something so much, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it doesn't, it never was”.
