Many parents wonder why their toddler behaves much better at school than they do at home. Most likely, the reason isn't that your kids like other people better than they like you—it's actually quite the opposite. In fact, this pattern of behavior could be a good sign that your child is securely attached to you.
"It does not necessarily mean that something is wrong with either parent or child," Dr. Raffa says. "[But] it does indicate that something has to change with their relationship and with discipline." Jovanovic adds to this and says that sometimes moms can be too permissive.
So why do our babies behave so badly for us and not for other people? The answer seems to be that they are comfortable with us. They know they can have a total meltdown and we will be there to comfort and support them.
All of this behaviour, best and worst, is reserved for us; their parents, their safe people, who love them unconditionally. So in other words, it is actually a “compliment” if your child 'misbehaves' for you, but 'behaves' for everyone else. They feel safe and know you will love and protect them no matter what…
Some kids misbehave or show disrespect to their parents because they want special attention. Sometimes children think that they are not heard or treated properly and this ultimately leads to disrespectful behaviour.
The reasons behind disrespectful behavior include the perfectly normal and healthy process of your child growing up and away from his identity as a younger child. Teens naturally seek more independence as they get older, and mild disrespect is one way that independence gets expressed.
Verbal abuse and emotional abuse are commonplace in toxic families. Yelling, screaming, and name-calling are their primary means of communication with their children. Any form of assertiveness, individual differences, or rebellion is seen by toxic parents as a personal attack.
So don't make the mistake of thinking your kid doesn't like being with you as much as with their other parent. Acting up may actually be a sign of how safe they feel with you. This behavioral transformation is also due to your child's rapidly developing brain.
Disrespectful Child Behavior Parents Should NOT Ignore
Make no mistake, when true disrespect is directed toward a specific parent or sibling and it's demeaning and rude, it has to be dealt with immediately. If your child doesn't see the line between disrespect and mild rebelliousness, you need to talk with him.
Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.
For instance, if one parent is firmer than the other parent, the kids may respond more swiftly. Kids, especially toddlers, have very few things that they get to control. So, in some cases, your kids may simply be choosing to behave with one parent and not the other because it is under their control.
The Actual Reason Why a Toddler Behaves Differently With Mom
But with Mommy, they feel a sense of 'letting go' that they feel with nobody else. They can be just the way they want, and express everything they feel, and mommy will somehow put everything right. As Kate puts it: “YOU, mama, are their safe place.
Another reason children can be ungrateful is that they don't have any experience to compare life to. When children are little, it's great to encourage them to donate toys or backpacks to others in need. However, unless they can get a firsthand experience of what it's like to live in that way, the lesson can be lost.
Provide an Immediate Consequence. if your teen walks out the door after you've told them they can't leave, or your child calls you a name, set the boundary: "I will not let you disrespect me" or "I won't allow hurtful language in this home" or "I trust you will find a different way to deal with your frustration."
The parents even called the age of 8 the "hateful eights," which is a little harsh, but the parents noted that tantrums seem to have really intensified around the age of 8.
If you're a parent, you may be all too familiar with the guilty parent syndrome. This is when you feel guilty for not being able to spend enough time with your children or for not being able to do everything for them.
This type of behavior is regarded as a form of child abuse. Children impacted by this psychological abuse are said to have parental alienation syndrome (PAS), a term coined by American psychiatrist Richard Gardner in 19851.
People sometimes call it Disneyland Dad Syndrome. This refers to a time when Mom typically got full custody of the kids. Dad, on the other hand, just had weekends and vacations. Therefore, time with Dad was the “fun time.”
The key difference is that with ADHD, your child usually has trouble paying attention and they're hyperactive. With ODD, your child is defiant, cranky, and angry. ADHD symptoms tend to show up when your child is 12 or younger. For some, it can start as early as 3 years old.
Children who become engrossed in self-stimulating behavior to the exclusion of normal activities or who are self-abusive (head banging, biting, hitting), who do not form affectionate relationships with care providers, such as regular babysitters or relatives they see often, or who repeatedly hit, bite, kick or attempt ...
A toxic mother may be so concentrated on her own needs that she fails to nurture those of her children. Common signs of a toxic mother include ignoring boundaries, controlling behavior, and abuse in severe cases.
You try to control your children using guilt or money. I left this one for last because it is the most toxic and damaging behavior. If you give expensive gifts to your child, expecting something in return, or wait for some reward for “what you've done for them”? It is a good sign you are a toxic parent.
Manipulative parents can use their children to further their efforts at manipulation, trying to either change the minds and behavior of the children by feeding them certain false information, or trying to manipulate co-parents into certain behaviors or feelings by using the children as a go-between.