The researchers discovered that making the chase harder increased a potential mate's desirability. “Playing hard to get makes it seem as if you are more in demand—we call that having higher mate value,” says Harry Reis, a professor of psychology and Dean's Professor in Arts, Sciences & Engineering at Rochester.
Summary: Researchers examined the effects of playing hard to get, a mating strategy that is likely to instill a certain degree of uncertainty. In a new study they show that making the chase harder increases a potential mate's desirability.
Playing hard-to-get means motivating another person's pursuit while expressing only occasional interest in the person, thereby making oneself seem more desirable. Playing hard-to-get is not just a tactic people used in the past.
A girl playing hard to get, will want to look hard to get. It's her way of showing you she has many options to choose from and could be taken by someone else at any moment. She might bring along some good-looking friends to a party to make you jealous.
Turns out science can shed some light on how playing hard to get could actually benefit you. In a recent study published in Psychological Science, women were more attracted when they were uncertain if a guy liked them a lot than when they were sure a guy really liked them.
The researchers discovered that making the chase harder increased a potential mate's desirability. “Playing hard to get makes it seem as if you are more in demand—we call that having higher mate value,” says Harry Reis, a professor of psychology and Dean's Professor in Arts, Sciences & Engineering at Rochester.
"I'd not recommend playing hard to get with a specific person you wish to interest because this may arouse this person's rejection fears and decrease your appeal," Birnbaum says. "Still, expressions of romantic interest should be reciprocal and gradual. Otherwise, they may backfire.
Perhaps, they don't want to come off as eager or desperate. Playing hard to get isn't exactly lying, but it isn't honest. If you like someone, you tell them. Playing hard to get means you purposely take longer to respond to their texts, so they think you're busy and, therefore, you become more coveted and desirable.
“What the scarcity principle says is that people are more attracted to those options or opportunities that are rare, unique or dwindling in availability,” Dr. Cialdini said.
Flirt with him (a little).
Just make eye contact, smile, and exchange a few playful words before you say you have to get going. Don't be rude; just don't be too enthusiastic, either. Play with your hair while you talk to him. Laugh and look at the floor; let him see you blush just a bit.
Being a gentleman can attract women. Flowers or chocolates for your date can go a long way and help make you more attractive to them. A man who has integrity is willing, to tell the truth regardless of the situation and is honest even in difficult situations is very physically attractive to many individuals.
Talking to people other than the intended mate, flirting with them, or even dating other people. Giving accidental physical contact, but offering limited physical affection and withholding sex. Acting sarcastic but friendly; teasing, playing games and taunting. Making others work to get them and chase them.
One study shows that playing hard to get can increase wanting a person, but simultaneously make you dislike them (or, in some cases, just make you feel over all of it in general). Or, it can repel the exact type of person you want to attract.
1. Lean Air/Fuel Mixture. Not only can a rich air/fuel ratio cause a backfire, a mixture that doesn't have enough gasoline can cause a backfire, too. A "lean" mixture is one that doesn't have enough fuel, and too much air.
Overall, the researchers found that women and people with insecure attachment styles tended to play hard-to-get more. “Hard-to-get behaviors seem to serve as strategies to self-protect and manage potential partners' behaviors,” Gillath said.
Uncertainty Can Increase Romantic Attraction." "Uncertainty affects our thoughts in general," Whitchurch, who led the research as part of her dissertation, said. "If you can get a person to think about you, you can make that person think they're attracted to you. Uncertainty is one way to get them to think about you."
Ask her if she would like to be touched with a phrase like "Can we hold hands?", or move slowly but clearly. Give her a light and casual touch. Brush your arm up against hers, place your hand on the small of her back, or just pass her a pen or a notebook and let your hands linger near each other's.
Can you feel when someone is attracted to you? Yes. When someone feels you are an attractive person, some things come up between you that aren't there otherwise. The clues aren't always obvious, but you can see some of them by paying attention.