Many of the men saw children as a threat to their freedom and to their financial security, sometimes describing their own desires as “selfish.” Some stated that they were not financially prepared for children. Yet, they contributed to society in other ways, such as “making a difference in the community (p. 11)."
For men, the most commonly-cited factor (33%) was personal finances, but among women, 42% said the strongest consideration influencing their decision not to have a child was their desire to “maintain their personal independence.”
In a new study published in April 2023 in PLOS ONE, the researchers confirmed those findings and found that “being child-free is somewhat more common among adults who identify as male, white, or who have always been single,” they said in a news release.
The truth is, he might have unresolved issues from his childhood, reservations about the relationship, concerns about the baby's health, or fear of responsibility. Your boyfriend or husband may feel a sense of shame or guilt for not wanting a baby and may not want to open up about his real internal struggles.
Proponents of childfreedom posit that choosing not to have children is no more or less selfish than choosing to have children. Choosing to have children may be the more selfish choice, especially when poor parenting risks creating many long term problems for both the children themselves and society at large.
There may be nothing major wrong. Your partner could just be taking their time to adjust to the idea of being a new parent. Or they may have worries and concerns that you can address together. What to do next depends on whether they're actively hostile to the idea of having a baby, or just seem disinterested.
Between 2012 and 2018, the percentage of childless men ages 15 to 49 responding that they did not want children doubled from 9.9% to 20.2%. In addition, the number of men concerned with parental leave policies when evaluating jobs decreased between 2005 and 2015.
Talk to him about what you're looking forward to about having a child. Come up with stories and ideas about what you think your family will be like and what you think your child will be like. Ask him how he might feel teaching his kid to drive or watching his baby start walking.
They Don't Like To Share
According to Sedacca, if your partner doesn't like to share — beit possessions, time, or skills — that could be a sign that they don't want to have kids.
Even if your partner does not want kids (or you don't), it doesn't mean that you should necessarily end your relationship. Instances where you may want to keep going include: If one or both of you are unsure, but not resolute in your decision to have kids one way or another.
Although most men are able to have children well into their 50s and beyond, it becomes gradually more difficult after the age of 40 . There are many reasons for this, including: Sperm quality tends to decrease with age.
While some men can become fathers later in life, sperm quality declines with age — and partners of men aged 45 years or older take longer to fall pregnant and have a higher risk of miscarriage. And, although still rare, autism and other developmental conditions are slightly more common in children with older fathers.
Among men aged 15–49 in 2015–2019, 55.2% had not fathered a biological child, 14.8% had fathered one biological child, 17.4% had fathered two children, 8.2% had fathered three children, and 4.4% had fathered four or more children.
If deciding not to have kids makes sense to you, it is okay and normal. People decide not to have kids every day. Child-free couples and individuals are often satisfied and content. You're not alone, no matter what you hear from the media, society, or family.
According to the authors of one 2011 study on the subject, “Gender and baby longing is a question of degrees, not of exclusive categories. Men may experience a 'slight rise of temperature' if not full-blown 'baby fever.
From a biological standpoint, experts recommend a man is best suited to fatherhood from his late 20s to early 30s. It is still possible for men to father a child in their 50s and older. According to Guinness World Records, the oldest man to father a child was 92 years old at the time of the birth.
To make fertilization happen, a man must be able to have and keep an erection, have enough sperm that are the right shape and move in the right way, and have enough semen to carry the sperm to the egg, according to the Mayo Clinic. A problem in any step in this process, including male fertility, can prevent pregnancy.
Turns out, men have their own ages to be mindful of. “It's on a hockey stick shaped curve [of risks], just as it is with women, but with men the stick is a lot longer. The risks can start at 40 or maybe even 50 or 60 and then [risks] rapidly rise after 60,” says Dr. Paul Turek, a men's health and fertility urologist.
More than 1 in 5 US adults don't want children.
Many partners also lose their libido briefly as they cope with the changes that come with being a parent-to-be. For some, the changes to your body are wonderful. But your partner may also worry that your body somehow "belongs to the baby" right now. Don't worry, this is normally a passing phase.
A loss of attraction during pregnancy isn't rare. Many factors are involved, from the biological to the psychological. The science is still out on what exactly happens to men's sex drive when their wife is pregnant.
The symptoms of couvade syndrome include both psychological and physical conditions that may include aches, pains, nausea, bloating, anxiety, depression, and much more. The symptoms often appear during the pregnant partner's first trimester, go away for the second trimester, and reappear in the third trimester.