They aren't emotionally or physically ready to start using the toilet yet. They find the experience intimidating — the size, sounds and location of a toilet can sometimes be overwhelming for a toddler. They're using stool withholding as a “power play” for more attention.
The best thing to do to combat this is to schedule bathroom breaks. Ask your child if they feel the urge to pee. Give them verbal reminders and cues, and then tell them it's time to try. Then celebrate their attempt, even if your toddler sits on the potty but doesn't go.
Caregivers should take a toddler with any of the following symptoms to see a doctor: no urinating for over 3 hours.
Water helps those sphincter muscles to relax and release. When you're trying to get your child to sit longer on the potty AND relax and release their pee, it helps to have some water play activity. The sound and feeling of water can help trigger a pee release during potty training.
What Is Late Potty Training? Late potty training is when your child is over 3 years of age, shows no signs of developmental delays, and is still not toilet trained after six months of training.
“The most common reason a potty-trained child suddenly refuses to use the toilet is that the child experienced 'force,' or too much pressure, by his parents,” says Dr. Walfish.
Holding on to wee is something young children can get into the habit of doing especially when they're potty training. It's not as common as 'poo holding', but can still be a worry if your child avoids emptying their bladder for long periods.
Call your doctor if your baby or child has a dry mouth, fewer tears than usual, and no wet diapers or hasn't urinated in more than 6 hours. Get emergency help right away if your child or baby is very sleepy and hard to wake up, or if your baby or child hasn't had any wet diapers or hasn't urinated in 12 or more hours.
Toddlers who cry right before they release or directly after are most likely afraid of losing a part of themselves. That's right, to your toddler their poop or pee is a part of themselves. Imagine if you went to go to the bathroom and your limb fell off into the toilet, and then you were expected to flush it!?
It's important to know that this is very common, and for many kids, regression in toilet training is simply part of the process. Trust that eventually, your child will be fully potty trained. Until then, give them the patience, understanding, and encouragement they need to work on this important life skill.
If a child expresses toileting refusal, a one- to three-month break from training is suggested. This allows trust and cooperation to be re-established between parent and child. After this break, most children are ready to begin training.
Some children are not developmentally ready to learn yet, while others resist attempts to learn as a means of control. Difficulty potty training may also be caused by a medical issue, such as chronic constipation.
If your toddler doesn't go potty after a minute or two on the toilet, don't force it. Get up, move on and try again later. If your child has an accident, don't punish them. Help them clean up, show them what to do with their dirty underwear and how to change into new ones.
Remind yourself that sooner or later, your child will want to be dry for their own sake. If they start to see potty training as a battle with you, it'll be much harder. Leave the potty training for a month or so, then try again, slowly and calmly. A reward chart with stickers may help your child stay motivated.
What is it? Toilet phobia involves fears around toilets, which can include: fear of being too far from a toilet, fear of using a public toilet, fear that others may be watching or scrutinising/listening, or fears of not being able to go to the toilet.
Don't Force the Issue
If your child refuses to go, forcing them to go and sit on the potty will likely create a negatively charged atmosphere and can ultimately lead to more resistance.
If you think your child has a UTI, call your health care provider. The only way to diagnose a UTI is with a urine test. Your health care provider will collect a urine sample. The method your health care provider uses will depend on your child's age and maturity.
You can buy a home urinary tract infection (UTI) test kit. They are available without a prescription at a drugstore or online.
A young child or infant should urinate at least every 6 hours. An older child should urinate at least 3 times every 24 hours. Call your doctor immediately if your child is dehydrated.