Narcissists don't want you to move on from the relationship or from the pain they inflicted. They intend to keep you thinking about them- even if those thoughts are negative. They are wired to crave the attention of others. Without the attention, they often feel completely empty.
According to Craig Malkin, a psychologist and author of "Rethinking Narcissism," narcissists view relationship dissolution as a sign their exceptional status is declining. As a result, they may try to prove your decision was wrong or place the blame on the other person in the relationship.
Fear of being alone – Narcissists are skilled at destroying their partner's social circles and relationships with family members. The prospect of leaving may equate to a feeling of being truly alone; Fear of reprisals – The narcissist may have created a culture of fear and anxiety in their partner's life.
Manipulative people, like narcissists, can hook their victims in with a tactic called "love bombing." It's the stage of the relationship where they identify their target, then make them feel like the most special person in the world by showering them with compliments, affection, and gifts.
Do narcissists regret discarding or losing someone? It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value.
Once they don't need you to fuel their ego anymore, a narcissist will discard and abandon you. Also, if you decide to stand for yourself, set boundaries, and ask for reciprocity, a narcissist will discard you with no apology, empathy, or remorse.
Although most narcissists seem to attempt reconciliation a few times before suddenly disappearing, most eventually stop and proceed with an abrupt separation or divorce. There are several significant reasons as to why they do this.
Narcissists often have deep-seated insecurities and low self-esteem. As a result, they need constant validation and admiration from others to feel good about themselves. When you're no longer in a relationship with them, they may try to keep you around as a source of that validation.
One of the most important things you can do to break free from narcissist abuse is to work on building your self-esteem. This includes accepting yourself for who you are, setting boundaries, and learning to stand up for yourself. Narcissists often target people with low self-esteem because they are easier to control.
Dr. Durvasula: There are so many reasons why people can't leave narcissistic relationships. Financial reasons, cultural reasons, they have children, religion, fear, anxiety, and that they still actually love the elements of this person, they want to be married.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.
Narcissists can and do love, but their love tends to be superficial and fleeting. They can develop intense emotional attachments—even appearing to "fall in love"—and yet still maintain a complete lack of empathy for the object of their affection.
Sometimes a triggering event will motivate the narcissist to leave. These are usually life-altering events for one of you. If you become ill or incapacitated or unable or unwilling to participate in the life the narcissist has designed, that may prompt the narcissist to leave.
The relationship cycle typical of extreme narcissistic abuse generally follows a pattern. Individuals in emotionally abusive relationships experience a dizzying whirlwind that includes three stages: idealization, devaluing, and discarding.
Narcissists are clingy and they might feel jealous, sad, and hurt that you're with someone else. Nothing hurts them more than knowing that you don't care anymore and they have no more control over you. Seeing that you're happy with someone else is like salt to their wounds.
The narcissist often engages in self-defeating and self-destructive behaviours.
Narcissists hate losing their supply of attention, so they won't let you go easily. Prepare for them to promise "to change." They might suddenly start doing things for you that you'd been complaining about. They may say "you'll be lost without me," or "you'll never find someone like me."
They are addicted to attention, drama, and chaos. They also have a deep hatred of the self which they cover with a highly extroverted persona. A narcissist will believe that they are prevalent and well-liked and deserve to be a leader without necessarily having the traits.