Men can be silent when they're angry, happy, fearful, or sad! It's confusing for everyone. Partners, mainly women, experience huge concern, confusion and anxiety when they experience the silence and withdrawal of their partner.
He needs some time to be sure of his feelings. Sometimes, guys withdraw from a situation and act uninvolved to be able to see it from a different perspective. By keeping a distance from you, he is trying to see the relationship differently and understand if he really wants to keep this going.
Being silent prevents this sense of loss of our masculinity. The male feels he cannot win or might not get heard. We might feel we have less vocabulary, or that we might lose the argument. We might get angry and do something we should not do.
Some reasons why your partner may rely on the silent treatment include: They have poor communication skills and don't know how to express their needs or emotions. They struggle with control issues. They are not self-aware enough about their use of the silent treatment to make changes.
If someone displays unmanageable emotions and easily flies off the handle, this is a serious red flag. Responding with uncontrollable rage or the "silent treatment" could point to abusive (physical or emotional) behavior in the future, says Trombetti.
The simple answer to the above questions is yes. When you walk away and make him miss you, it's typical for a man to come back to you. The power of silence after a breakup is highly effective in making your partner come back. To start with, going silent after a breakup is a sign of confidence and self-esteem.
Sometimes it has nothing to do with the relationship or you. He is just stressed – it could be work, or maybe he is having some personal issues with his family, friends or health. Sometimes, pulling away is a form of defense mechanism. His past bad experiences can make him afraid of going through heartache again.
When a guy acts interested, then backs off, the reason has less likely to do with you and more to do with him. His past experiences could be coming in the way of your romantic dreams. Maybe, he has been abused, cheated on, or deeply hurt by a partner before, and thus, has his guards high up.
Clearly, with many men suffering in silence and experiencing feelings such as depression and anxiety, much more needs to be done for them to feel both encouraged and comfortable with opening up and taking that first step towards help.
Maybe he has family or personal issues going on, or maybe there is a situation at work that is bothering him. There could be even something in the relationship that he is stressed out about. He could also want the support, but not know how to talk to you about it at all.
Guys mainly act distant when they are uncertain of their feelings or yours. Please don't give up when you notice a sudden change in his demeanor. Instead, make him trust you more by assuring him of your love. Let him know you value the relationship and hope you build it together.
Fear of commitment, apprehension of losing control over their lives, or bitter past experiences may be responsible for such behavior. He may need some space before committing and may not be sure if he feels compatible or emotionally connected with you. Your overpowering traits may also worry him.
Phrases to Break the Silence
Hey, we haven't really been talking lately. I have been feeling X and just haven't known how to bring it up. Can we check in? I know I've gone radio silent and shut down.
You might want to say, “I cannot continue with this relationship if you keep shutting me out. The silent treatment is too toxic for me. I will have to call things off if it continues.” Say the above if you feel there is still a chance.
Why do guys come on strong and then pull away? They might feel overwhelmed by the intensity of your feelings, or are afraid of commitment. They might even think that you two are no longer compatible or have started seeing someone else.
Something in his life has changed.
This can happen to your guy too. Maybe he's decided he wants to travel for a while. Maybe he has a new job opportunity that will either take him away or take up too much time. These life events happen and they don't always work with someone else in tow.
They have difficulty identifying what they are feeling.
It's no wonder men often have difficulty identifying what they are feeling, other than anger. They can become defensive and pull away when emotion is being expressed to them unless they know how to speak the language of emotion.
Things You Should Know
If a guy distances himself after sex, it could be because he wants to take things slow, he has a super busy schedule, or he struggles with intimacy issues. When a guy distances himself after intimacy, you can reach out to him to get clarity, or you can focus on self-care and moving on.
In a relationship or friendship, the silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. It's shutting someone out, and refusing to address an issue or a grievance. Often, people who use the silent treatment don't even tell the person they're snubbing what they've done wrong.
Will he miss me after a breakup is a constant question that women have. With the majority of men, he will miss you if you leave him alone. That might sound ridiculous but there are some very good reasons behind it. 'Distance makes the heart grow fonder' is an expression that is very true.