Narcissists need a consistent amount of validation, admiration, and reassurance to keep their grandiose self-perception intact and their negative emotions suppressed. They “forget” birthdays because the celebration of others takes away too much attention from their fragile sense of self.
If it's your birthday, it's not hard to guess why the narcissist might hate this day. Narcissists naturally dislike situations where the spotlight is not on them. They somehow want to be the main focus in every situation. In this case, the focus is naturally on the person who has the birthday.
A narcissist's birthday, Durvasula explains, will frequently be a no-win situation. If you remember to wish them a happy birthday, they may downplay it and pretend not to care about such frivolous things.
Their inflated ego may make them think that others shouldn't be happy unless it's because of them. They tend to want to be the best and seem the happiest at the expense of another person's well-being. You might notice that they use detrimental behavior to devalue the happy people around them.
“As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey. Instead, narcissists will only have people in their lives that benefit them; they are very selfish people. “They are number one in their lives.
But here is the rub: Over time, the narcissist usually senses that you are pulling away, and it is then that your problems take on a different form. Narcissists hate feeling that they might be rejected or that you might conclude that they are defective. So, they go into compensation mode by turning the tables.
Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
Put Your Needs First. Narcissists make others feel guilty about being happy because they expect everyone to put the narcissist's happiness first. If you're not constantly praising them or accepting their criticisms that make them feel superior, they won't be satisfied.
If you're in a relationship with a narcissist, you may find that you're sacrificing things for the sake of their needs on a regular basis, but they refuse to do the same for you. It also means they'll do almost anything to others in order to meet their own needs.
Because you still care about him. He apparently forgot or didn't feel it appropriate since you aren't together anymore. Exes aren't obligated to maintain contact with each other in all circumstances. He could simply have moved on as should you.
Getting total revenge on a narcissistic abuser means that you need to hit them where it hurts, and that's their ego. By totally cutting them out of your life and not wasting a second of your time by thinking about them and what could have been, you'll definitely get even.
Narcissistic rage can be triggered by various situations, such as criticism, perceived rejection, or being ignored.
The time period between Halloween and Valentine's Day is a time when survivors of abusive relationships with a narcissist may experience what is known as a "hoover"..often times narcissists will circle back to prior sources of narcissistic supply to see if they can tap (or suction up like a vacuum) prior targets' ...
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Narcissists' Greatest Fear
To narcissists, ordinary people (i.e., nearly everybody around them) aren't worthy of attention, so being ordinary would leave them unworthy of the spotlight and left to suffocate. Narcissists also need to feel special and superior to others.
If you are a people pleaser, who likes others to need them, likes to be indispensable to others, you may find that you are attracted to narcissists and that they are attracted to you. Someone with narcissistic tendencies will be able to identify others who will allow them to be dominant in the relationship.
Narcissists are known for their lack of empathy, which impacts all their relationships, including those with their mothers. They are often dismissive, neglectful, or manipulative, using their mother to fulfill their own needs without considering her feelings.
Narcissists can love, but this superficial and momentary affection serves as a way to get what they want from others. While their role as caring partners, parents, or friends may appear genuine, a lack of empathy and devotion to themselves renders narcissists unable to develop meaningful relationships.