Arguing with someone who has narcissistic traits can leave you feeling hurt and confused. People on the narcissism spectrum — from those with narcissistic traits to those with diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) — may have an intense desire to win arguments, as it helps keep their ego intact.
There will be no mature fighting or resolution if you are arguing with a toxic or narcissistic individual. You will be unable to have a calm and mature argument with them. They will often become extremely upset and aggressive. More times than not the conversation will shift to nonsensical rants.
Most arguments with narcissists are a waste of time because it's not going to be possible to change their mind or get them to agree with you. Avoid them when possible.
Narcissists not only don't care about what the other person is trying to say, or make any effort to understand them, they often purposely misunderstand (or pretend to misunderstand) and mischaracterize the argument, focusing on using it to attack the other person to feel superior.
The real reason why simply confronting a narcissist and calling them out for their behavior won't work is simple: they're not actually listening to you. If they truly are a narcissist, they have never been listening, and are especially unlikely to take any criticism or feedback on board.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Narcissistic rage ranges from direct confrontation with name-calling and hurtful slurs, to calculated, closed down reactions like giving their partner the silent treatment for hours at a time. "They give you the cold shoulder, or they walk out and they find another woman," Greenberg said.
The rage associated with a narcissistic injury ranges from mild irritation to outright physical attacks. Some narcissists will gaslight, deflect, project, verbally assault, or collapse. Depending on the severity of the injury, others may be physically aggressive, becoming incredibly dangerous.
There's no need to worry, though—disarming and outsmarting a narcissist is definitely possible, as long as you have the right tools in your arsenal. We've put together plenty of tips and suggestions to help you get started, so you can put plenty of space between yourself and the narcissist in your life.
Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
In narcissists' efforts to avoid blame, they often combine several fake apologies at once, such as, “I am sorry if I said anything to offend you, but I have strong opinions. Maybe you're too sensitive,” or, “I guess I should tell you I am sorry. But you know I would never deliberately hurt you.
Here are some narcissism red flags to look out for: Lacking empathy. They seem unable or unwilling to have empathy for others, and they appear to have no desire for emotional intimacy. Unrealistic sense of entitlement.
Another gaslighting tactic a narcissist may employ is to say something that is impossible to prove or disprove like, “Last week you said I/they were mean and you didn't want to work with me/them any more.” Most decent people won't make up a complete lie like this, so it's easy for witnesses to your argument to believe ...
THE BASICS
Grooming a person, manipulating her into doubting her feelings, generating shame regarding her best qualities, and manipulatively creating dependency are four ways a narcissist destroys a person from the inside out.
Narcissistic partners act as if they are always right, that they know better and that their partner is wrong or incompetent. This often leaves the other person in the relationship either angry and trying to defend themselves or identifying with this negative self-image and feeling badly about themselves.
Overview. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others.