Ultimately, whether your BPD ex will come back after a breakup will depend on a variety of factors, including the specific dynamics of your relationship, the severity of their BPD symptoms, and their level of motivation to work on themselves and the relationship.
Although BPD personalities initiate a break-up as a way of seeking validation, because of the intense anxiety at play, they'll often express intense regret because of their abandonment wounding, especially if they're not met with the response they desire.
BPD individuals are often capable of forgiveness – but it takes time, patience, and effort.
BPDs are highly emotional and highly emotionally dysregulated. They will mourn the loss a long time.
The experience with him felt very present. People with BPD are in a constant state of black and white thinking Idealisation and devaluation. Yes, your ex will remember the good memories and shortly after the coin will flip and they will be devaluing you again that's part of the torture people with BPD suffer.
If they tell you that having less contact with you than when you were previously in a relationship is causing them pain, then it may be best to go no contact. On occasion, a BP might actually initiate no contact. If that happens, accept that this is what they have deemed this necessary for their healing.
The individual with BPD tends to blame themselves for the breakup and may experience an increase in depression, anxiety, anger and self-harming behaviors.
Cyclical Nature of BPD Abandonment
The fear of being abandoned often causes people with BPD to form unhealthy attachments. Sometimes, they may abruptly cut off these relationships, effectively abandoning their partners. Other times, they make frantic attempts to hold onto relationships.
Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.
Because people with BPD have an intense fear of abandonment, a breakup can leave them feeling desperate and devastated. This is why it's a good idea to have a support network for you and partner, especially if a breakup may occur. This network often includes a mental health professional.
People with BPD may experience rage when they perceive rejection, neglect, or abandonment in a relationship. During rage, a person may say or do things that they later regret. This could lead to ending the relationship in the heat of the moment. BPD rage is often followed by significant regret and shame.
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by a pervasive pattern of instability in relationships, self-image, moods, and behavior and hypersensitivity to possible rejection and abandonment. People with borderline personality disorder fear rejection and abandonment, partly because they do not want to be alone.
Getting over someone with a personality disorder is supposed to be harder because of the heightened emotion of the relationship itself. The love bombing and constant affirmation is easy to miss, especially when that person made you feel like they were your soulmate.
Past vs Present in Borderline Personality Disorder: Those with BPD can become stuck in the past in their attempts to recover their lost self. What keeps the past so alive is not facing your feelings.
Punishment and revenge are central to the manifestation of what Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is and means when it comes to relationships. The struggle of those with BPD relationally, is rooted in a proverbial no-win situation.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem. People who take their power from being a victim, or seek excitement in others because their own life is not where they want it to be.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
No. Borderline Personality Disorder and cheating are not connected, though certain symptoms of BPD could drive someone to cheat. That said, if you and your partner are willing to work through the challenges of BPD and go to therapy, then there is no reason your relationship can't succeed.
Lying, like other signs and symptoms of the condition, tends to occur because the person with BPD is unable to regulate their feelings and impulses. It's an act borne out of pain and fear. Often, people with BPD even believe their own lies.
If you suspect you're someone with BPD's favorite person, they may exhibit the following signs toward you: Consistent need for reassurance. Intense declarations of their love or appreciation for you. Reaching out more frequently when you don't respond.
Family members may be quick to deny or argue the feelings experienced the person with BPD. If these feelings are ignored, the individual may resort to self-destructive ways to express their emotions.
They may even obsess over their new partner, convinced this is the perfect person for them. The relationship is mostly positive but can move quickly, given the impulsivity among people with BPD.
But there is another quality displayed by many borderline individuals that is often left out of the diagnostic picture: individuals with borderline personality disorders can also love intensely, although somewhat erratically and egocentrically.
If the relationship is over, the partner living with BPD could spiral down into thoughts of low self-worth and experience symptoms of depression. They may tell themselves they're worthless or experience such volatile emotions that they engage in some behaviors that may put their safety in jeopardy.