Even if you do end up in each other's lives in a different capacity in the future, it will never be quite the same. It's completely normal to develop dumper's remorse if you end the relationship. Everyone assumes that it's far easier for the dumper than the dumpee. That's not always the case.
Generally speaking, some dumpers regret their decision to break up only weeks after the incident. Other dumpers need years to feel that way. And some never even arrive at the final stage of dumpers remorse. Instead, they move on to someone else — be it a rebound or not.
Both the dumper and dumpee experience a range of emotions after a breakup. Dumper's remorse doesn't happen in all relationships, but there's a good chance that your ex experiences some uncertainty and regret after ending things.
Most male dumpers will start coming back, the moment you send them subtle signals that you might be moving on. So this actually depends on you. It tends to take anywhere from one week to six months. As long as you're chasing him, he will have no reason to come back.
It may seem cold if they seem like they don't care at you at all but our research has found that isn't entirely true. Dumpers do hurt just like dumpees but they have a different way of processing the grief than you do because they view relationships in a different way fundamentally.
Ultimately, we are of the belief that in most cases dumpers do “stalk” their exes on social media. In fact, there are multiple ways in which they do that.
Sadness (and regret) – Not every dumper reaches regret, but it is inevitable that they will hit sadness because no matter how they cope, no one can avoid grieving a loss.
If you average all the reputable research on the ex recovery process and chances of getting your ex back, there's about a 43.5% chance your ex will come back without doing anything. Those aren't exactly betting odds. That means six out of ten times you're probably not going to get your ex back.
Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to get on their hands and knees and beg for you back. For some the “missing emotion” can be fleeting. For others, all consuming. In all though, yes, there's a high likelihood that the dumper will miss the ex at some point.
Typically, evidence suggests the dumpee normally faces more pain and they certainly do suffer the most intensity of emotions. That being said the dumper rarely escapes pain free.
Depends on the situation: If dumper is mature and recognizes that it was not a good relationship for him, he won't feel anything. If dumper is selfish, egoistical and immature, he will be jealous. But, doesn't really want the dumpee back, but mostly because their ego is hurt.
About a month after a breakup the dumper is probably still feeling pretty relieved about having done the horrible part of breaking up and is likely to still be enjoying the 'freedom' That's why no contact is so important in that first month because any contact from you will not be welcome.
Why Do Exes Reach Out Years Later? There are several reasons why ex's reach out years later, including they are just checking up on you, they want to offer a sincere apology, or they are jealous of your happiness.
What do dumpers feel during no contact? During no contact, dumpers initially feel a sense of relief that the relationship is over. Then they start getting curious about why their ex never called. Then they start stalking the ex on social media to see how they are doing without them.
Distract yourself and know that dumper's regret is a common and normal emotion to feel. Nobody likes to end things, even if they know it's for the right reasons. No matter how long you were with your ex, you shared moments and memories. They will always be with you.
It is your use of the no contact rule that will create the mystery and will cause your ex to reflect on the relationship they had with you. If you have a good relationship, they'll often remember the good times and miss being with you. Your ex remembers rather than forgets you.
And your ex might want to hurt you as a way to feel better about themselves, regain control of the situation, and feel the power. This means that your ex might want to hurt you as a way to prove that they're still in charge of the relationship.
When you are looking at why the dumper is acting cold towards you one possible explanation is that it might be a defense mechanism to stave off feeling sadness or shame. Remember, human beings are very pain averse and that's doubly true for emotional pain.
Orbiting may be a power play, showing your ex that you're still there watching. When relationships end and there are unresolved issues, an ex may orbit to show the other that they still have interest. To prevent their ex from forgetting them or getting over them, they keep their name popping up on their social media.
Yes, you can engage them a little bit but the point is to simply re-establish contact. I want you to think in terms of months instead of days. Rebuilding a relationship successfully isn't going to happen overnight. Stop expecting it to.
Dumper's remorse, as I call it, is very real. It happens to pretty much everyone who ever dumps a person. Even guys who are totally sure that the girl they left wasn't for them feel it, and will even question themselves if they actually did the right thing.
Maybe they moved on and want nothing to do with you anymore. Maybe they're doing the whole no-contact thing. Maybe they're pissed off. Your ex could also just be protecting themselves from any unwanted emotions — perhaps they fear that if they respond, they'll re-open their breakup wounds.
The way a dumper feels after a month of no contact is that they'll usually still be stuck in the “separation elation” phase. Don't fear though, the bell will toll as the depressive episode is just around the corner.